Price Range
by arielletracy03
Summary: natsume- a very famous actor from LA who came home to Japan. mikan- a girl who works at a fast food joint. there is no way they would mix! or is there? R
1. Introduction

**Hi guy! I hope you like this story enough to review it. And please leave suggestions… I tend to lose ideas sometimes. And if you don't like it… well please tell me what you find wrong about it.**

**Disclaimed**

**=pRiCe RaNge=**

**-**

**-**

Mikan Sakura

A nineteen year old who lives alone because her divorced parents are now both married to other people. She couldn't live with either of them because she thought she would just become a burden. Her parents didn't mind her decision to live alone. So her dad who is a bank manager bought her a small apartment and a rockin' motor bike. Her mom who was part of the board of education enrolled her in a collage near her apartment. Her course is theater arts and she works at a fast food joint. She sings, writes poetry and is without a guy.

Hotaru Imai

Also nineteen, Mikan's best friend. Knows Mikan better than anyone. She lives next door to Mikan. Usually comes over to Mikan's to eat. Studies in the same collage as Mikan, she is taking law, top student. she is also in a relationship with Ruka Nogi.

Natsume Hyuuga

Twenty-one, An actor in LA. Is famous all over the globe but he in the process lost all communication with his best friend, Ruka Nogi who lives in Japan. Ruka was ignoring him and with a good reason. He left Japan when he was 15 with his mom to pursue his career. But he finds it all meaningless without his best friend who was there for him through everthing. He was the only one who listened to him when he complained about his boring life. So he came home, decided to surprise him by enrolling in the same collage he was in. Though not in the same course because also wanted to be his own person while he was in Japan. He took theater arts.

Ruka Nogi

Twenty one years old. Studies to become a vet in the same collage as is girlfriend, Hotaru Imai. Is mad at his best friend, Natsume Hyuuga for leaving 6 years ago. But mostly mad at him because he wanted him back. But he did forgive him when he came back. He knew that he could never hold a grudge. Especially when it comes to Natsume or Hotaru.

**+MIKAN+**

**7:30**

**RIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!**

I hate that darned alarm clock. I reached for it and threw it out the window. Ahhh… peace and quiet…

**7: 45**

**8: 00**

**8: 30**

I stood up and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I glanced at the clock. **8:45**. I went back to bed.

'EIGHT FORTY-FIVE! OH NO, OH NO, OH NO, OH NO, OH NO! GONNA BE LATE, GONNA BE LATE, GONNA BE LATE!' I can't believe I overslept!

Well actually it has happened a lot but my best friend usually came over at eight o'clock to wake me up. I forgot that she was sleeping over her classmate's house to finish a group project. I finger- combed my hair out the door.

OH GREAT! I said to myself when I closed the door. 'I forgot the keys to my ride!' I fumbled the key into the door knob… got the door opened, took the keys and shut the door on the way out.

'UGH! I don't know how I'll ever get to school on time at this rate!' I said to no one as I took off to school.

**8:50**

'FINALLY!'

I got off my bike and tried to fix my unruly hair. It was a thick, wavy and so hard to manage! I grabbed my keys and went to the art building.

OUCH!

I exclaimed when I ran into someone. I fell on the ground, my stuff got scattered. I grabbed my stuff and mumbled an apology to whoever I bumped into. I was so late!

When I got to the classroom, class already started. I TRIED to get in my seat without being noticed by our teacher but failed.

'Ah. Miss Sakura so glad you could join us. I'm sure you have a good reason for being late. A reason you will be telling me after class.' This teacher was a lot nicer than the other teachers who caught her sneaking into or out of class.

'Yes Sensei.'

**11:30**

It was lunch break so I headed to the cafeteria and sat on a vacant table. I wasn't in a mood to eat. I was just there because… well I don't really know why. Hotaru is busy again today so she won't be eating lunch with me. I grabbed my bag and headed out to the gym.

When I got there it was empty so I sat on one of the benches. I opened my bag, looking for my poetry note book and a pen. I found a pen but no notebook.

'Hmm… I remember putting it in my bag last night… where could I have left it?' I said to no one in particular.

-**NATSUME**-

'…join us?'

'What?' I was shooting baskets at the court when I heard someone talking.

"I'm gonna hit the showers It's already lunch. Wanna come join us for lunch?"

It was a guy from the school paper that he had gym with. The look he had was too familiar. He just wanted me to eat with him and his friend so I would allow them to interview me. I hate all these posers.

'No, not now. I just want to be alone.'

I really did want to be alone but I really want to keep thoughts scattered for a while.

"Okay then Natsume, but if you ever need help you know who to call right?" this darn kid didn't know how to back off does he.

'I don't think I'll be needing anyone's help especially yours anytime soon. But even if I did I wouldn't ask someone who would print it out right after I said it." I am really pissed at this guy.

I left the court and went to the locker room to shower. But I won't be eating lunch with that guy. I don't think I want to have lunch at all for that matter..

**Beep…beep…beep… **

I came out of the shower looking for my phone. **Beep…beep…beep… **darn it where is that thing. I grabbed my bag searched for that irritating phone. There it is.

Hello? Ruka?

_**Yeah it's me. I just called to tell you that your mom called me this morning to tell me that she sent you all your money. She also told me to tell you that you were the one who worked for it so you should keep it and that you take care of yourself.**_

Why did she send me the money? I don't have anything to spend it on anyway.

Do you want a new phone? A car? Or an apartment?

_**Hey. It's your money not mine and I just got this phone last week. Besides I already have a car and a place to live.**_

Well what am I supposed to do with the money?! Why did she have to send it to me anyway?

_**How much money did you earn at LA?**_

Well my money would be 3 billion dollars since my mom gets 1 billion for herself.

_**How do you spend that much money?!**_

I'll figure it out. Okay see you around.

_CLICK_

Who's is this? I said as I picked up an unknown notebook. Oh I remember, it must be from the girl that bumped me this morning. I flipped through the pages to see who owned it.

Mikan Sakura

I flipped through the pages again to maybe find information about this Sakura.

One page caught my eye

**Breaking Love**

Hurting like I've never been hurt before

Because of our broken love

And now my glass heart is shattered

Now my tears are here

Taking control

I just wanna know

If you even loved me at all

Because if you did

I wouldn't regret meeting you

Right now you nod your head but

Uncertainty is evident

Now I have my doubts

I really don't care if my heart is broken

Just knowing I had you for a while

Mends it again

Because my memories of you are enough

If you cannot love me…

I wonder who she's talking about… I scanned the first pages…

**Smile my love**

Never alone.

I'll always be with you

So never frown

Cause I'm here

To make you smile

Just smile and your days will be fine

I'm here so don't cry

I won't leave your side again

As we waltz in to the room hand in hand

Every eye on us

But it's okay

Cause we see nothing but each others' eyes

Now smile

Cause when you frown

My world comes crashing down

And your smile sends me to heaven!

She's really talented. Maybe I'll find her in the journalism lab.

After getting dressed I took the note book and I didn't know why but I was so tempted to look at one of her poems

**Personal Angel**

Even if your warmth has left

That feeling

Still remains

I was so alone that time

And each time I gazed into your eyes

The sadness would fade

Your smile

Dried the tears

And your words

Eased my heart

Hurt from loving another

Letting go

Was just so hard

Especially because I wasn't ready

For the obstacles I had to face

But now

My personal angel has arrived

Here to rescue me

From those who tried to break my heart

But what I didn't know was

That my angel would be the one

I would cherish through time

And my gaze

Fell upon your beautiful face

That showed nothing else

Besides your tender love for me

I closed it, stuffed it in my backpack and headed out the door. When I crossed the court I was surprised to still see someone sitting back there and when I looked closer I realized it was a girl looking all frustrated. She stood up and headed to the art building stomping all the way. That was weird no one came here at lunch break. Maybe she was waiting for her boyfriend or something and maybe he didn't show that's why she was mad. Well never mind I still have to find the owner of this note book. Then I headed out to the Journalism Lab.

**What do you guys think? I'll be posting the next one soon… like it, hate it? Let me know :D**

**Thanks! R&R**


	2. The notebook

**Thank you guys so much for the reviews! Sorry that I couldn't update sooner. I got caught up in watching Hot Shot. **

**Disclaimed**

**=pRiCe RaNge=**

**-**

**-**

**-**

**+MIKAN+**

I was stomping all the way to my next class. Maybe it would be no big deal for other people to lose a note book but the notebook she lost was too important to her. It contains everything she felt.

"OH NO!" I should have never started writing in the first place! Even her breaks up moments were written there! Well of course in the form of poetry, but it was all private information! No one has ever seen the inside of her notebook before. She was the only one who could read it. She wouldn't even let Hotaru read it.

-

-

When I reached the class room I kept thinking about the notebook I didn't even notice that the class was starting. I wanted to find that notebook so badly. Not only because of my value for it but also because my hands are itching to write something. I decided to cut class, it shouldn't be hard this time since I'm at the back. I left the classroom unnoticed.

-

-

I went to the lost and found to see if someone brought it there. I kept wishing it wasn't there and at the same time I wish it was. If it was there that meant that someone found it and maybe even read it. ARGH! I wouldn't even dare think about someone knowing my personal thoughts!

Why did the Lost and Found have to be so far! Almost all the way to Journalism building!

-**NATSUME**-

I was headed to the Journalism Building to find the owner of the notebook. It wasn't like me to even care. But weird enough, I did care. This _Mikan Sakura_ is quite interesting. Just return the notebook and be done with it...

I was near the Lost and Found when I saw the girl from the court. Looks like she lost something because she entered the Lost and Found. I could bring the notebook there but I want to meet the owner of the notebook in person. So I headed to the Journalism Building.

-

-

-

When I got there I asked if there was a Mikan Sakura who took journalism. I was told that no one by the name studied journalism. That was weird I was positive that a poet would have taken Jouralism. Well I could go back to class. So I headed back to the art building.

**Sorry that it's so short I'll update as soon as I can! Just need a little more inspiration!**


	3. The 1st Meeting

**Thank you so much for the reviews! Sorry that I've been slacking lately… there's too much relaxation this summer. I also apologize for any bad grammar. I will try better! Hope you like this chapter! **

**Disclaimed**

**=pRiCe RaNge=**

**-**

**-**

**-**

**+MIKAN+**

I was walking back to the Art Building, head down, unhappy and empty handed. The notebook wasn't at the lost and found, with any luck I've only left it at home. I really doubt it because I have it with me all the time. Except now.

I raised my head I my eyes still blurry because of the sadness that made me flood my eyes with tears. Most people may say that I'm overemotional. Well, maybe I am a bit. Anyway, when I raised my throbbing head I thought I saw my notebook. I rubbed my eyes to see if I was only hallucinating. A GUY WAS HOLDING MY NOTEBOOK! He is going to get a piece of my mind when I get my notebook back! But really I'm just hoping that he hasn't seen anything in it. As I approached that guy, I was nervous, mad and happy. Nervous because he may have read it, mad because he wasn't supposed to be holding my notebook anyway and happy because I found my notebook.

When I was near enough, I guess it was because I was upset that I flung my fist at him. I hit him square at his jaw. Wow! My fist was seriously hurt from the fist-to-face impact! He glared at me furiously. I turned red because of embarrassment. I thought I would die! I started reaching for my notebook which was in his hand. I wanted it back badly. I turned redder, out of anger this time. Why was this guy messing with her? Did he think that I was messing with him?!

"Who do you think you are, to be hitting me like that?!"

Why was he screaming at me? He's the one who took my notebook! He started walking away leaving me there, fuming with anger. I caught up with him and tried to grab my notebook, but he held it away from my grasp.

" Do you think your funny?! I've been looking, worrying and fuming all day because of it and you won't give it back!" I screamed as he began walking away again. He stopped.

" Is this yours." He said raising his hand that held my precious note book, but he didn't turn around.

" As a matter of fact it is!" I was still fuming, I wanted to stop but I couldn't stop raising my voice.

"Prove it." I couldn't because there was no way of proving it without him opening my notebook and I couldn't risk that. "I don't want to."

"Then you won't be getting this back." He started walking again.

"The fact that I tried grabbing it from you doesn't prove it enough?!" Well I guess there was a way. If he would buy it.

"Anyone would want anything that was held by me so it would be no surprise if you wanted the notebook. You would only sell it on E-bay or somewhere else."

Why does he think I would sell my notebook? It is my only copy of all my poems. And why would I want something that was held by him? So I voiced my thoughts.

"Why would ANYONE want something that was held by you? I just want it back mister. I can't even focus in class without worrying about that thing." Pointing to the notebook he held in his hand.

This time he turned around. He walked toward me and looked at me straight in the eyes. It was the first time I noticed his crimson eyes… they were well… beautiful. When I realized that I was staring at him I blushed again. How could I blush at someone who took my personal stuff?! But his crimson pools were so hard to resist.

"You really don't know who I am? Well, miss your just going to have to prove that you own this notebook if you want it back and I do not give in easily."

I huffed and puffed but I couldn't bring him down. I was really starting to hate the guy. I closed my eyes and counted to ten in every language I knew. When I was about to retort at him, he already disappeared.

With sudden realization….

**I DIDN'T EVEN GET HIS NAME!!!**

I called Hotaru to come over for dinner. I already knew she would but I wanted to talk to her anyway. I suspect that getting my notebook back wouldn't be an easy thing to do, I'm gonna have to use the big guns to get that guy!

"So that's all of it."

After dinner I told Hotaru about the guy with my notebook. She knew that notebook was a big deal since I wouldn't let her hold it, open it nor read it. She is my best friend but she's really sneaky to. She doesn't like not knowing about things. Well I needed her help getting it back. Of course I knew that there would be a price for her help. I also already knew what she wanted in return or at least I thought I knew.

" I'll help you, but you need to cook for me for an entire year, clean my house every week for the entire year, clean my car, reorganize my closet, library, files, shoe room and all my jewelry. Oh and repaint my walls, sterilize al my kitchen utensils and I get to read the notebook."

That was so much more than I expected a ton more I thought that she would just want to finally read my notebook.

" Okay, I want it back soon."

Hotaru handed me a pen and a piece of paper.

" Sign it."

She was going to be a lawyer. Still, why did she have to have me sign a contract?

I signed it

She left

And I had dishes to clean.

"_Smile _

_Because you still can_

_Because you make others smile with you_

_Because someone loves you_

_And because he loves you too"_

Arielletracy03

**Sorry that only mikan. you guys will have to wait and review or the story to go on…**

**I'm only joking! Anyway R&R. it's so short ******** sorry… all the inspiration today has fled.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimed **

**=pRiCe RaNge=**

**-**

**-**

**-**

-**NATSUME**-

I was lying in bed, I recalled what happened today. I wonder what that girl would do to prove that the notebook full of poems was hers. I wonder if she really owned it or if she was just some fan of mine playing actress to get the thing, but I doubt that she was acting. She even had the guts to hit me. She did put force in that punch but she was too weak to even cause a bruise on my face. I smiled at how she would blush for every emotion. I do know one thing; she isn't getting that notebook if she doesn't prove that it's hers. I already know that she's an idiot because she didn't even ask for my name, the school has so many students. I don't know how she'll ever find me… well, unless she turns on her television.

**-RUKA-**

I was writing an essay when my phone ringed.

_Calling: Evil Girlfriend_

I let the voice mail answer it.

_Answer the phone or I'll sue you. You should know better. _

'_click'_

I'd call her back before she could touch her files.

**Hello?**

_I'm busy, I'll have my lawyer call you. _

**Hotaru…**

_The case will be about me seeing you undress and having me take pictures of it . That's child abuse. _

**You can't sue me for that! You were the one who bugged my room!**

_Who gave you the right to raise your voice on me? And yes I can and I will. If that's all I have to prepare for tomorrow._

**I'm sorry.**

_you should be. But do it again and I promise you. I. will. sue._

**Why did you call me anyway?**

_You're the one who called me._

**I mean after I called you.**

_I never called you_

**Yes you did.**

_No I didn't._

**You did**

_No I didn't._

**You did**

_No I didn't._

**You did**

_No I didn't._

**Fine. Just tell me what you need.**

_Well Mikan asked for a favor, and I need to ask you if you know anyone with crimson eyes, raven hair, tan and irritable._

**Sure I do. You know my best friend Natsume don't you? **

_You mean the ill-bread super star that pops out of TV every commercial. I guess he's all that but what would he want with my best friend's notebook?_

**Mikan lost her precious notebook? It is serious, she even came to you for help.**

_She knows where it is or rather who has it but the guy won't return it to her. Do you think you could have Mikan and Natsume meet?_

**Yeah sure, when?**

_Dinner ,tomorrow night, your place._

**Do I get to ask why you want them to meet?**

_Let's just say that Mikan will regret the way I'll be helping her._

'**Click'**

**+MIKAN+**

I was getting dressed for dinner at Ruka's tonight. Hotaru invited me to eat whit them at his place and she told me that I had to look flaming hot.

I was staring at my reflection in my fill length mirror. I was satisfied with the outfit.

I wore a tight leather jacket over a pink tee, black skinny jeans and my thigh high, high-heel boots and a pair of over sized shades. I tied my hair into a loose braid.

While I was riding my motor bike to Ruka's it was cold out that I started to become a little light headed.

I didn't realize that I already passed Ruka's house so I turn my bike around.

When I got to his place I thought I would faint before I would even get to knock, thank God I didn't.

'knock, knock'

No one answered the door so I turned the knob.

Why was it open?

"Hey guys do you have something for headaches? I feel dizzy." I had my back to them, maybe I should have stayed that way… when I turned around I saw Hotaru and Ruka making out on their couch. I felt the heat going up my neck. This wasn't unusual though, Hotaru would usual call me to have dinner with them and then when I arrive I would find them in a rather awkward position… well for me. Tonight wasn't the worst I've seen them doing, I doubt anyone wants to know the worst. I figured they'd called me to cook 'their' dinner for them while they did 'stuff'. I headed to the kitchen to fix them their meal. As I was looking around for stuff to cook, steel pan already in hand I realized something, Hotaru wanted me to dress up for a reason and I doubt that it was for me to cook their dinner I stood up and turned, forgetting that I was holding a steel pan. So the pan flew up

UP

UP

UP

UP

DOWN!

**BONK!!!**

OUCH!!!

"**Ah!! I hit someone**!" wait… wasn't I **alone** in the kitchen? I turned around and saw a guy with raven hair on the floor rubbing what I think was the spot that got hit with the steel pan.

I'm SO SORRY! I'M SUCH A KLUTZ! I'M SOOO SORRY!!! I knelt on the floor and touched the bump on his head. "Let me get some ice for that." I stood up and checked out the freezer for some ice. "Here, again I am so sorry." I handed him the ice bag he was leaning on the counter his face blocked from my view because he still had his head hung low.

He murmured something that I couldn't understand.

He lifted his head

Those eyes… those crimson eyes….

THOSE EYES!!!! THOSE BLOODY EYES!!!!

"YOU!!! What are you doing here?" we both said with the same emotion… ANGER…

**-RUKA-**

I broke from my girl friend's fiery kisses.

Hotaru don't you think we should check on them? I'm afraid they might have broken something from that loud crash.

I doubt they would break something that your best friend can't replace with his boulders of money. She said while kissing me still.

I broke away again. Look love I said cupping her cheeks in my hands I can't do this while I'm worried about Mikan…

So you want my best friend instead of me? She had her arms crossed.

No, you know I'll always want you but I'm worried MY best friend might hurt her in one way or other. I do trust him on many things but I don't when it comes to extremely delicate things like Mikan.

Don't be so worried about them I have everything under my control… let's go spy on them…

**Sorry again because it's short but it' all I could do for now. I'm not in the mood to write… too many emotions are being used right now so I don't think it would be a good idea to write. Please read and review. It's what keeps this story go ******


	5. Everyone Except Hotaru's Confusion

**I'm back:) Sorry it took me so long but I ran out of inspiration I guess. I'll try not to slack off this time.**

**Disclaimed**

**=pRiCe RaNge=**

Mikan's POV

"YOU THIEF! GIVE ME BACK MY NOTEBOOK! Or I'll…I'll.." What could I say to him to make him give back the notebook. My mind was blank. Darn my smallish brain!

He picked up the pan from the floor. I was afraid he was going to hit me with it. So I covered my face. Duh. He forcefully removed my hands from my face. Forcing me to look into his eyes…those eyes…

His face slowly neared mine. I couldn't do anything about it since he was gripping my hands so tightly. His face was only an inch away from mine. I tried my best not to blush at the close contact but failed miserably. "You'll what? I doubt you can do anything that can make scared enough to give you the notebook." He whispered at me with pure acid in his voice. His grip on my hand grew tighter and tighter. I tried not to make him see he was causing me pain. If I did I would only look more of a loser than I already did. I tried to break away from his hold but I was wrong to do that because the more I struggled the more he tightened his hand.

"Let me go. Let me go. Let me go. Let me go. Let me go. Let me go!" It seriously hurting. The fact that I was already in a dizzy state added to the pain. The guy was probably more stupid than I thought because he kept tightening every time I told him to let go. "ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETHING? LET ME GO! LET ME GO!" My eyes didn't leave his for even a second. I felt as red as his eyes. My eyes stung…it took a while before I realized it was my tears that was stinging my eyes. His hold on my hands was gone but the pain didn't leave with it. He had a shattered look on his face now. He was backing away from me…like I was the one who caused him pain. I'm so confused right now.

Natsume's POV

I made a girl cry. Well that was normal since I reject their declarations of love for me regularly. But she was cry because I inflicted PYSICAL pain on her. If she was smart enough she could just tell me her name and I would know if the notebook was hers or not. I placed the pan on the sink and ran water on the hand I held hers with. I washed my hands wishing it would wash away the pain I did to her. I took a knife in my hand to start cooking the dinner we would be eating since I doubt her wrists would be okay after the force I put on it. I was still standing there knife in hand thinking of what dish to make when someone grabbed my hand which had the knife in it.

_**SWISH **_

My hand swung and I saw something red on the blade. BLOOD. I was afraid I cut her that I didn't have the guts to turn around. I dropped the knife on the floor and she screamed. "OH NO! I'M SO SORRY!" She screamed. Why was she sorry I was the one who hurt her? She left my side for a moment. When she came back I felt a handkerchief on my jaw. She was dabbing the handkerchief on MY face. I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS BLEEDING. I reached for the hand that was on my face. She pressed on the cut and I involuntarily winced at the pain. "Gomenasai." She said lightly wiping the blood of my face. "Whatever." I shrugged since the pain was subsiding quickly. "I thought you were going to cut yourself when you took that knife in your hand. So I tried to stop you…but…well…" She said as she tried to explain herself. I removed her hand from my face and started cooking. "I'm really sorry." She said again only now it sounded like she was crying again. I didn't know what to do again. So I just made dinner. She set the table. I guess we were ok…for now until she fights for the notebook again.

Ruka's POV

I sat uncomfortably in my seat as we ate dinner. Hotaru and I saw what happened in the kitchen as the "prepared dinner". I wanted to stop them from getting hurt by each other but Hotaru wouldn't let me. So I was forced to watch the entire thing. The atmosphere in the dining room seemed to get more intense by the minute. No one (except Hotaru) could enjoy the gourmet dinner made by Natsume. Mikan was poking at her food but none of it reached her mouth. Natsume was eating but looked as if he was being forced to eat it and I was so disturbed by what happened to eat. By the looks of it I would be washing the dishes tonight considering the fact that neither of them would make it through dessert.

I felt someone poking my shoulder so I brushed it away. Someone poked me again this time harder. "Ruka" I heard someone say my name ever so gently. "Yeah?" I looked to see my girlfriend mouthing the word "Eat". I wasn't stupid enough to argue with her so I ate surprised how amazing the food tasted once it landed my tongue. But I still didn't want to do the dishes tonight.

Mikan's POV

I was too sick to finish the entire meal so I asked to leave after the third course. The sushi looked good but I don't think I could eat anything raw right now. "Hotaru, I really have to go before I throw up all over your floor." I felt so dizzy...so light...so confused.

On my way home I stopped by the supermarket for chocolate covered strawberries and a couple bottles of champagne. Why champagne? Well it's because I hate the taste of canned beer or any other alcohol except champagne. When I got home my head and wrists hurt like hell. "Why did Hotaru make me wear a hot outfit?" I said to the champagne bottle in my hand. I kept drinking until everything went numb. "I didn't even get my notebook back..." I pouted. Then a realization struck me. "I COULD JUST HAVE TOLD HIM MY NAME AND HE WOULD KNOW IT WAS MINE!" I opened my third bottle and chugged it down without much thought. "Ah." Then everything went black.

_**BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...**_

_CLICK_

Ugh. This is Mikan. Who is it?

_**Why aren't you here?**_

There where?

_**At school. Where else? **_

Oh Hotaru, Um...I think I drank myself to sleep last night so I overslept.. I think. Hmm...

_**Well get yourself together and ATTENED your afternoon class. Oh and we are going out tonight I'll fill you in after classes. **_

_CLICK_

"Going out again. Hmm... Well I better get to school before she sues me again." I grabbed my towel and headed for the bathroom.

Ruka's POV

Last night didn't work out. I think Natsume was offended by Mikan for not eating the food he prepared. Mikan looked uneasy last night too. "Sigh. I don't think this will work out." I told Hotaru. "Well I KNOW it will. I know them better than they know themselves especially Mikan." She said sipping her juice box. "Oh and how did you get Natsume to go to dinner with Mikan after what happened yesterday?" There was no way my best friend would go to a date with Mikan after the disaster last night. "That was easy. I took the notebook from him and told him I wouldn't give it back unless he went out with Mikan." She said with such ease. "If you already have the notebook why did you make them meet each other again? Didn't you see what happened the last time?" I asked my freaky girl friend. She looked at me like I was the one who was crazy. Then she looked away. "Let me ask you this Nogi. When was the last time you saw Mikan cry?" There was a softness in her voice. I just nodded with understanding. So that was why she did it...

Mikan's POV

I met with Hotaru after class like she said. She told me to go to 'Vines' and a car would pick me up at 6:30 at my place. Vines was a 5 star restaurant and why a car? Well I knew one thing for sure I needed a slamming dress tonight. Why? Well..because Hotaru told me so.

I was searching thru the piles of evening dresses and gowns in my closet and I couldn't find the perfect dress. "Why do I have to do this! Oh because Hotaru will sue me if I don't."

Then I was it. It was a cream cocktail dress. Almost white in fact. It was simple a ribbon at the back a few frills at the bottom and a deep v neck. It was simple and sexy. I wore may hair in a loose bun and wore pink diamond stud earrings. The shoes I chose were simplicity itself a bronze high heels with white small flowers in the front. I looked in the mirror and blushed. I looked good. I smiled at my reflection.

DING DONG

DING DONG

Well that's the car. I took my hand bag and left. I felt like a princess.

Natsume's POV

It's already 7:30 why isn't she here yet? Hotaru really is evil. I chose a private room in the restaurant because of fan hazards. I already chose the wine it was really good.  
"Tsk." Why isn't that crazy girl here yet. After a few minutes I heard the door open and I also heard her gasp. "Sit down and don't say a word." I ordered her without looking away at the cup in my hands. She was still standing at the door. I stood up and looked at her. I realized looking at her was a mistake. She looked so... so... how could I describe her? She gasped again when she met my eyes. Her hazel eyes were filled with innocence and confusion. "I won't hurt you." I said barely in a whisper. "I know." She sat down in front of me and she squirmed at the sight of the wine. "What?" What was wrong now? Is she choosey or something. "Nothing." She poured herself a cup and drank it down quickly. She looked as if she was forcing it down. I wanted to tell her she didn't need to drink it if she didn't want to but I was already speaking more than usual. "Hey" She said in a whisper. I arched an eyebrow. "I don't even know your name." She looked at me smiling. I was about to smile myself which was not something I did. "Hyuuga Natsume, You really don't know me?" It was unlike me to be concerned with other people's opinions on me but it was something that bothered me when she said it. "Hyuuga-san, I'm sorry but I really know nothing about you." The way she said it was so pure. How is she able to do that and be an klutz? "I'm Sakura Mikan." She said in a clear voice. Maybe too clear. "Sakura." I repeated like an idiot. She really did own the notebook. "Now that you know my name I think that's enough to prove that the notebook is mine." She said in a matter-of-fact tone. I cleared my throat. "Well yes, but its no longer with me you see." I said in a strained voice. Her eyes bulged like they were going to pop out at any second. She opened her mouth to says something but the food arrived before she had the chance. The waiter set the meal in front of us and she excused herself. "I have to umm...go. I'm sorry for leaving again Hyuuga-san." She left with tears in her voice. She didn't face me again. The door shut behind her. "Hotaru Imai I shouldn't have allowed you to get that notebook." I said with anger. I left the restaurant and went to my car.

While I was driving I saw someone barefoot holding her shoes in her hand and a bottle of champagne in another walking down the sidewalk. Obviously drunk. What a mad woman I thought. After passing that person it hit me. THAT WAS MIKAN.

**What do you think guys? I'm soooo... sorry for updating so late. I forgot that I started it. Well R&R flames are welcome. ;) And to those who already reviewed it thank you **

_I was nowhere_

_You were always there_

_And that was the reason that kept us together_

_And also brought us apart._

_-Xiao Wawa_


	6. Misfortunes

**Disclaimed**

**=pRiCe RaNge=**

Natsume

I was about to pull over. But I couldn't allow myself to do that. When my car passed her I felt like turning around. That was so unlike me. I kept driving. Stopping to get her was too much caring for me to handle.

Mikan

I'll be running out of money soon if I keep drinking. Champagne isn't cheap. So Hyuuga doesn't have my notebook? Then who has it? I need to write somewhere though, or else my school books will be filled with my emotional crap. Why did I have to be this way?

When I woke up yesterday I wondered why my alarm clock didn't go off. "Oh, It's a Saturday." I still had about 3 hours until my shift at McDonalds. I took a bath and brushed my teeth to get rid of the stench of alcohol.

I was an hour early at work and they didn't need my help so I had nothing to do. I was walking around the block and I saw a cute store. When I went in realized it was a scrapbooking-store-place. I was on my way out of the frill filled store when I heard an middle aged lady on the counter call out "We have a sale today on our notebooks." She was pretty. When she approached me she had a sample of the notebook in hand. "Beautiful" I said in an awed tone. The notebook was handmade and the cover was made of dried sakura petals and it had calligraphy done on the front that said "Words are precious but the innocence of the one who uses them are what matters most." "How much?" I said running my finger at the side of the paper. "$50". That was 1/2 of my pay check. Working at a fast food joint doesn't pay much. "I'm getting paid today. Can you hold on to it for me?" I asked hopingly. "I will." She smiled. "I'll see you later then." I nodded at her and left for work.

I was lying on my bed and holding my new notebook in my hand. I took a pen from my backpack and started writing...

Missing You

Why did you have to leave?  
I knew this day was to come  
but not this soon.

I didn't expect the hurt  
And I didn't expect the pain  
When you left a part of me  
Would never be whole again.

I regret not holding on while I could  
I regret not following your advice when I knew I should.  
But I cherish the moments when we were together  
Because those moments will be in my memories forever.

My greatest wish before you left  
Was to have time to give you a special gift  
one that fit all your needs  
To repay all the deeds  
That I have witnessed you perform.

I was thinking of Xavier again...Xavier was my first Umm... boyfriend. He was an American. He left me for his studies in the states. He left me without a good bye. He just suddenly left. The night before he did he slipped a note in my bag. The note said "Sweet Sakura let me fly..." That was what started me to write these poems. I was still in high school then...Still dealing with my parents. I never did really get over him. Even when I was dating again. I clutched the notebook in my hands. I would write in this notebook then. But I was sure as hell that I wouldn't forgive Hyuuga for taking my old one.

**A few days Later...**

Natsume

"Imai. I went out with her. Can you give me back the notebook?" I was angry for some reason. I just didn't know why. But I knew that I had to give Sakura back her notebook. "You barely saw each other. She left after 10 minutes. I don't think that qualifies as 'going out'." She said in a dead tone. "Hn." I couldn't argue with her on that. She was right. Well I don't know what to do now. So I decided to take a nap somewhere.

Mikan

I cut class because even if I did attend I would still fall asleep. When I got out I immediately headed for the Sakura tree to do a bit of writing. I held the pen in my hand but I didn't have anything to write about at the moment. I closed my eyes and took in the sweet air that surrounded the cherry blossom tree. "Your scent drew me near. But you were also poisonous as I feared. I was already lost in your eyes but I was utterly repulsed by your low lies...I've hurt you and you me but I have fallen in love with you can't you see?" I was unconsciously constructing a poem. It seemed so refreshing to actually say the words. But to whom I wanted to say them to I had no clue.

I didn't realize then that I fell asleep.

Natsume

I was up in the Sakura tree when I heard a tear filled voice speak. When she spoke I felt her tears fall. When she stopped I heard nothing but her even breathing. So I came down took a look at the girl. She was on the other side of the tree. I could only see her back from where I stood. I saw her hair being wisped by the wind. I came closer to see her face. She was asleep. "Sakura?" I said a little confused. Everyone was supposed to be in class. She looked so innocent as she slept. "Don't leave me..." She said in a dreamy voice. I thought she was awake. She squirmed a little but didn't awake. I just stared at her.

There was something about her that I didn't know. Something I surprisingly wanted to know about. I couldn't stop what I felt now. I was already caring for her. I brushed the hair out of her face and was about to leave her to sleep. Then I saw a pink covered notebook in her hand. "Sakura petals." I murmured in a soft voice. This tree obviously mattered to her. I didn't mean to pry but I wanted to know what she was writing about. It might give him a clue about the words she spoke before she fell asleep. When I opened the notebook I saw only one page filled. "It's new" I mused. After I read it I was only more confused. I placed the notebook back in her hands. I stared at her for quite awhile. Thinking.

When I was about to leave I saw her eyes flutter open. "Hyuuga." I guess she was awake now. "Hn." She looked at the notebook in her hand and clutched it to her chest. That thing was obviously important to her. "Do you have my notebook now?" She wasn't facing me. "No." Although she didn't face me I felt her disappointment. The silence was gone when the bell rang. "Lunch Break." I don't know why I said it though. I wasn't even hungry and if I went in there everyone would be looking at me. I shuddered internally at the thought.

"Would you like to have lunch with me?" That was weird of her to ask. "I have an extra bento here. I made it in case I get hungry later but since you're here..." Bento? A lunch box? I stopped bringing those since Middle School. She brought out the two containers from her backpack. "Here." She said handing me the box. "You don't have to eat it here with me if you don't want to." She was opening hers. "Hn." I sat at the other side of the tree. I was holding the bento but I didn't opened it. "You know Hyuuga I'm trying not to be angry at you anymore. I am upset about losing it but maybe its better of lost." I was staring at the blossoms that were falling for a while. "I'm done eating. I'll leave first then." I was still sitting there the lunch box in my hand.

Mikan

I'm giving up on the notebook. I'm giving up on hating Hyuuga. I'll just go back to the way things were. I feel better when I'm alone anyway. Actually I wasn't finished eating when I left. I just couldn't be in a place like that. The Sakura Tree was in full blossom. The blooms were falling and floating. It was too much of a reminder so I left. I threw the rest of my lunch in the trash. Maybe you're thinking why I have a bento right? Well it's because I can't afford to eat in the cafeteria. I was broke. I could ask my parents for money but I don't want to bother their lives. I have to be independent. I have no one but myself. I have to get promoted or something. Hotaru could help me but it was so much to ask from her and I didn't want her to worry about me again.

I went home that night, cleaning out my closet. I had a lot of clothes because of my parents. The clothes they sent were still in good condition and they could be considered expensive. I cleaned out half my closet. I had to give up my gray knitted gloves, my light pink skinny jeans, eight of my blouses and T-shirts, 3 of my gowns and 6 of my gorgeous cocktail dresses. Including the one I wore when I went to 'Vines' with Hyuuga. And a bunch of other stuff. I could sell them to my classmates. I was left with half of it. Which was still a lot but the clothes were one of the things my parents left for me. I felt sad to let them go. But I needed the money..

**The next day. School****.**

"Mikan are you really selling this gorgeous dress?" Anna was a fashionista herself so I felt comfortable selling her the cream cocktail dress. "Umm..Yeah, I won't have a chance to use it again anyway?" I wouldn't use it again anyway. It reminded me of the lost notebook. "Again? When did you use it? How come I didn't see you wear it?" She really did pay attention to what people around her wore. "I wore it to a 'private' occasion." I whispered to her so our other classmates who were looking at my clothes wouldn't hear. "Oh." Anna said still eyeing the dress. "I'll buy that cream cocktail dress for $300." I knew that cold voice. "Hotaru? Why would you buy it?" She wasn't the type to use something someone else already used. "It seems to be in good condition. I want it." She told me handing me the thick bills. "$300 for my dress? Hotaru you could just buy something new with this much cash." Not that I didn't need the money but I don't want to cheat my best friend. "I want that one." She said in a nonchalant tone as she snatched the dress from Anna. Anna looked as surprised as I did. "Hotaru-chan I think Mikan is right. You can buy at least 3 new cocktail dresses with that much money." Anna told Hotaru. I was still looking at the wad of cash in my hands. Where did Hotaru get the money? Why would she waste it on a used dress? It was too weird for me to handle so I just didn't think about it anymore.

After I sold all of the clothes I brought to school I when to the sakura tree to count how much I money I made. "$200 for all the stuff I sold. Oh! And the $300 Hotaru gave me for the cream dress...I MADE $500! My jaw dropped at how much I made. Wow. That was more than I expected. Hotaru buying the cream dress greatly increased how much I made. I wonder what she wants it for? Never mind. I was financially ok for now. I took out the bento since I think I couldn't stand to be this hungry anymore. After eating I didn't want to get up yet. Hotaru is going to be so mad that I cut class again.

I closed my eyes and took in the scent of the tree again. I could really smell it this time because it was windy today. _'Sweet Sakura Let Me Fly...'_ I can't let go of you, Xavier. I want to but I just can't. "Polka Dots, What an interesting choice of underwear you have Sakura-san" I immediately opened my eyes to see that crimson eyed devil in front of me. "YOU PERVERT! DON'T YOU RESPECT A LADY'S SPACE!" I was so humiliated. Oh my gosh! What am I supposed to do now! I hate you forever Hyuuga! My face was flushed deep red with pure embarrassment. My hands pulled down my skirt which flew up without me realizing it. Dang this weather! "WELL!" I demanded an explanation from this pervert! This handsome...HANDSOME? Mikan get yourself together! I scolded myself. "I didn't choose to see it. My eyes were forced to look at that distracting piece of a panty you had on." Then he walked away without another word. What a walk-out-king. "UGH!" Why did this have to happen to me?

When I got home I went to my underwear drawers. I love polka dots. "Hmp. Not my fault that he dislikes my choice of underwear. AHH! BUT STILL THAT WAS SO EMBARASSING!" I won't change my underwear choice just because of him. I'll just NEVER wear SKIRTS again. I went to my closet and removed all the skirts I had. I didn't care if it was long or short as long as it was a skirt I removed it from my closet. It was only then that I realized I was a 'skirt person'. I won't sell my skirts. I took a box and stuffed the skirts in it and I put the box under my bed. I made a big mess in my room. There were clothes everywhere. I thought I sold a lot already. I began folding all my clothes and stacked them by pants, shorts, shirts, dresses, leggings etc. I put in the pants where the skirts were. All done. FINALLY.

**The Next Day (Friday, After Class)**

I was going to a dance club with the old gang from high school tonight. I haven't seen a lot of them lately. I would be riding with Hotaru and Ruka. I was finished taking a bath and I was currently deciding on what to wear. I wore my black leather tights, my black 4-inch heel boots, a gray sleeveless micro dress which reached below the mid thigh. I wore a silver bracelet with sakura blossom charms on it. I wore my hair down and slightly curled the sides. I wore black eyeliner and a light pink lip. I had a natural blush on my cheeks so there was no need to use tint on it. When I looked in the mirror I almost didn't recognize myself. "Pretty" I said to my reflection. I decided to play a little game on them tonight. I went to my bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet and took out my contact lens. I did a little cosplay before so I had a variety of different contacts. I used a silvery light blue. I loved my 'new eyes'. I called Hotaru and told her not to pick me up. I would just walk to the club. It wasn't that far anyway. I wore my oversized sunglasses and headed out the door. I wonder who would be first to recognize me. I smiled.

When I entered the club it was like everyone stopped moving. When I forced a smile they all seemed to be stunned in place. I wondered why they weren't like that when I was myself. When I removed the sunglasses their reactions became worse. Everyone was staring into my eyes. I was searching for our table and when I found that even they were staring at me like I was a stranger. When I looked at Hotaru though she knew it was me immediately. She didn't tell the others though. She knew it was me because we were together when I got the contacts. I approached the table and sat beside Anna. I decided to speak in English to conceal my identity. None of them besides Hotaru knew that I spoke another language. I learned because of...never mind. "Hello every one. I missed you all so much!" They were all dumb struck. "Excuse me miss, but may I ask how you know us?" Said the ever polite Ruka. "I'm hurt guys. You don't remember me?" I said in a flawless manner. "Maybe they don't remember you because you were so different in High School." Hotaru said in English as flawless as mine. I nodded. "Maybe." I said as I sat beside Hotaru. It was then that I realized Hyuuga was also in our table. I didn't realize I was starring at him until he looked at me. I forced a smile and his crimson eyes widened.

Hotaru ordered beer for everyone and a bottle of their sweetest champagne. "Arigatou Hotaru-chan." I whispered to Hotaru's ear. A couple of shots later we were all on the dance floor. Well except for Hyuuga. They still didn't know who I was. I would tell them later. I told myself. I was randomly dancing when a big buff guy with a beard pulled me from the dance floor. He pinned me to the wall and was forcing his mouth on mine. Oh dear Lord help me! I wanted to scream but I was already drunk. I was struggling from his hold on my hands as he forced himself on me. I was using all the strength I had but he was too strong. I was crying already. He was pinning me with only one hand which left his other hand roaming in forbidden places in my body. SOMEONE SAVE ME! PLEASE! Oh God no! Then he stopped suddenly, let go off me and ran. There was chaos around me. People were screaming. I fell on the floor and everything went black...

When I regained consciousness I was on a bed of pure Egyptian cotton sheets. Was I in heaven? Then I remembered everything that happened. That man. I shuddered and cried. I felt so defenceless...so unclean... I gripped the blankets around my shoulders. I opened my eyes to see a room bigger than my living room. Where am I? A thousand thoughts filled my head. Was I in that man's house? What happened? And so on. I heard the door creak open. I was afraid and confused. I looked around the room for something to hit with. I grabbed a lamp beside the enormous bed I was on. I saw a shadow of a man and I flung the lamp. It hit his head. " What the?" That voice was familiar. When I saw the man's face or rather his eyes I was blushing like a little school girl. Hyuuga. "You're awake." I thought I saw him smile but it was probably me imagination. "Hai, gomen for causing you trouble. Can I ask how I ended up here?" I said in a shaky voice. It was only then that I realized I had a headache. Probably from all the drinking yesterday and the fact that I fainted somewhere. I fainted! That's it! There was chaos in the club that's why the bearded man ran... I didn't feel the tears steaming down my face and I didn't hear the sobs shaking my body. Things could have been worse. Much worse. "Can 'hiccup' use 'hiccup' your 'hiccup' bathroom?" I said as I tried standing up which took a lot of my strength. "Yeah, sure right there." He said pointing to a door inside the room.

When I was inside the bathroom I washed my face and looked at my reflection. I have to get the contacts out of my eyes before it causes irriation. Then I realized I wasn't wearing them anymore. Which means he knows I'm Mikan. How did he know I was wearing contacts? I looked horrible on top of it all. The eyeliner got smudged because of my crying and I look flushed. "AH!" I was so mad. How could all these things happen to me! I should have known better than trying to become beautiful again. It only causes me problems. I'm ugly inside anyway why not show it on the outside as well right? I kept slapping my face. How much more idiotic could I get! You don't deserve to be happy! I said to myself. That's why he left you. That's why they ALL LEFT YOU. A voice in my head said. "NO! NO! NO!" I said to my reflection. "It's not my fault...not my fault...not my fault...not my fault...not my fault..." I was on the bathroom floor. I grabbed my hair trying to pull them from the roots. "AH!" I screamed as hot tears rolled down my cheeks. Hideous sobs escaped my chest. "Just let me die instead will you!" I said to the ceiling. "Let me die..." ...

**NATSUME**

I heard everything she said on the other side of the bathroom door. It's just a door not a sound proof bomb shelter how could I not hear her? I heard her screams, her yearning, her sadness... Then I heard her sobs. They tore at my heart, if I still have one. I turned the knob and opened the door to find a shattered girl lying on the floor. Staring blankly at the ceiling saying "Not my fault...let me die..." over and over like a mantra. I don't think she was aware of what she was doing because she didn't protest when I carried her back to the bed.

Even though her eyes were wide open. She wasn't there in the room. She was somewhere see didn't want to be. How do I know that? I see the unconscious tears rolling down her once rosy cheeks. Having her here made me realize that I wasn't a complete robot. I took out my handkerchief and wiped her tears. Last night was a disaster...

_Flashback_

_I saw Sakura being touched by a weird man. I was about to interfere but the police stormed in yelling something about a rapist they were chasing. Everyone ran everywhere. I saw Sakura faint so I called Imai who told me in advance that it was Sakura that was dressed like a foreigner. Imai just gave me a look that seemed to say save her yourself idiot. Then Imai ran out with Ruka. "Tch." Why does it have to fall in my hands? We hate each other. I carried Sakura to my car. She barfed about 5 times before we reached my house. I didn't want to bring her there but I don't know where she lives. And Imai won't answer her phone._

"_Good evening master. Oh my! How may I help?" My butler said. "Bring her to my room and have Riu change her clothes." I still have to bring my car to a carwash. It reeked of the smell of alcohol a Sakura's barf._

_When I came back Sakura was asleep. "Master, I removed her contact lenses." Riu the head maid of the household said. She gave me the contact lenses. After she left I sat down beside the bed. I knew it wouldn't help the situation if I slept next to her. When I turned on the lamp next to the bed something on her wrist glimmered. I took out her wrist and looked at the bracelet she wore. She sure is obsessed with Sakura trees. The bracelet doesn't look cheap. When she moved slightly I placed her wrist back on the bed and took out a manga I was reading._

_End of flashback_

While I wiped her tears I kissed her cheek lightly. I was surprised at myself. "Stop torturing yourself." I scolded at her. Suicidal freak. I said internally.

**Yay! Hmm... Tell me what you think guys! R&R! I crave your reviews ;) till the next chapter!**

**As the petals fell I fell in love...**

**As the flower grew I blossomed**

**As the flower withered I lost you as well**

**-Xiao WaWa**


	7. Stuck

**Disclaimed**

**=pRiCe RaNge=**

Natsume

I woke up hearing someone shouting at me. "Hyuuga-sama! Hyuuga-sama! The little miss is awake! Hyuuga-sama!" Little miss? SAKURA! I got up immediately. I fell asleep on the sofa in the living room after I contacted Imai. I wonder if she is really awake or still in a daze. As much as I hated to admit it, I cared about her. I ran to my room where she was sleeping. When I got there she was sitting on the bed staring at the bracelet she held in her hands. The way her hair fell on her face was dazzling but the look in her eyes were filled with immense hurt. I wanted to hold her but my pride told me not to. I hated my pride right now. I stood at the doorway looking at her. "Natsume-kun, I feel like a worn rag doll." She said in a dead voice. She called me Natsume. Usually I would get mad at someone who used my first name without my say-so but the way she called me was like seeking comfort. I wasn't sure if I knew how to comfort anyone. I would try. For her. I risked my pride and neared at the gigantic bed. "Natsume-kun why does the world hate me?" She wasn't crying she was just robotically saying these things. It was like she lost her soul. I sat on the bed. "Natsume-kun I tried to be good again. I promise I did." What she said didn't make any sense anymore. "Shh." I told her as I gathered her in my arms. I rocked her in my embrace. We sat there like that for what seemed like hours. Then I heard her sobs. It killed me to hear her cry again. It's better than nothing I told myself. She clutched my shirt like her life depended on it. "Natsume-kun I didn't mean to be a disappointment to everyone…I just wanted to make them happy…" She cried and I held her. Sometimes she stopped crying. Most of the time she didn't. She would just let me hold her. I didn't hear her talk much after her last emotional outburst.

It has been three days since she that night. Mikan(She wanted me to call her that even though I didn't want to.) stayed at my house. She was like a lost and wounded puppy. She didn't let go of my hand if she didn't need to. The sudden closeness was weird for me but if it would help her to recover I won't object to it. Last night she wouldn't sleep without me by her side. So I had to stay there until she fell asleep. She didn't speak to anyone except me and the head maid Riu. When Imai called Mikan wouldn't speak to her. Today was Monday so we have classes. Mikan didn't speak even to me the entire morning when I told her that we would have to attend school. "They have to see that you're okay. They're all worried about you." She nodded but still didn't speak to me. I doubt she would speak to anyone.

Riu got her ready for school since Mikan wouldn't move unless she was told to by either me or Riu. Mikan avoided all mirrors so she didn't maintain herself. Riu was the one who dressed her. It was like Mikan was one big Barbie doll. Riu dressed her like a little girl. Mikan was in a pink floral dress that reached above her knees and had baby pink leggings underneath. "She said she wouldn't wear anything that would possibly show her underwear." Riu explained. Her hair was in two braids on both sides of her shoulders. She had red high heels on. Even though she looked 'Ahem' _beautiful_ she still looked down. She approached me and she held my hand again. If this goes on my hand will fall of. I said to myself. Since she wouldn't let go of my hand I had a driver take us to school.

As I predicted she didn't say a word when we got to school.

I dropped Mikan off at her first class. She looked at me like she would die if I left her there. I thought she wouldn't let go. Then she hugged me in a swift motion then sat in her chair. Without looking at anyone. She stared out the window where she could see the Sakura tree. I hope she would be okay.

When it was lunch time I saw Mikan sitting alone at a bench. When she saw me she immediately stood up and walked up to where I was and clutched my hand. "Look at Hyuuga's new arm candy." I heard someone nearby say. I approached the freak who said that and hit him square on the jaw. "Come on." I told Mikan as we walked away from the jerk. Mikan let go of my surprisingly hand and went to the guy I hit. "Gomenasai" She said and bowed. Then she ran back to me and held my hand again. This girl is getting weirder by the second. I said to myself.

**CAFETERIA **

RUKA

Hotaru and I saw Mikan and Natsume this morning. "She went back into depression again." Hotaru thought aloud. We were there during High School when Mikan was first like that. "You need to talk to Hyuuga. I bet he's confused right now." Hotaru said in a worried voice. I nodded.

_**Beep…Beep…**_

**Natsume, We need to talk.**

_About what?_

**Mikan.**

_Where? _

**I'll just go to your house after your class.**

_Sure, see you then._

_**Beep.**_

**HYUUGA RESIDENCE**

When I got to Natsume's place Riu said he was still out. "Oh, I'll just wait for him to get back." I said as the middle aged maid gave me a beverage. "Arigatou Riu-san." A couple of minutes later Natsume arrived. "Sorry to keep you waiting. Mikan didn't want me to leave. When I left her at her place she was depressed again." Natsume explained while he massaged his temples. "Hotaru and I saw you together during lunch." His face twitched. "I told her that you guys wanted to see her but she wouldn't let me. She kept saying that she would only disappoint everyone more." Natsume said in an unsure voice. "We know. That isn't the first time she was like that." I told him cautiously. Natsume sat in the chair in front of me indicating for me to go on. I sighed. This was going to be a long story…

**High School-Sophomore Year About Four Years Ago**

Mikan, Hotaru, Ruka and the others were a 'group'. Mikan was always the little girl of the group. Then during the start of the semester Mikan bloomed into a beautiful lady. Every guy in the school wanted to know her. Every guy courted her but Mikan who was completely dense only wanted friendship. She was the 'untouchable flower' in our school. Then a few months later an foreign exchange student came to our class. He had brown hair that curled on the ends and blue eyes that captivated the heart of every female student in and out the high school. The student's name is Xavier Stratford. Xavier was introduced to the group by Anna. That was when Xavier and Mikan first met. It was love at first sight. It was like they completed each other. They looked even more beautiful together then when they were apart. They even had a fan club. It seemed like they were never apart from each other. The group saw their love grow. Mikan was always on cloud nine. She and Xavier exchanged gifts for even the smallest occasions. Their gifts to each other always had something to do with Sakura trees. It was their sign of love for each other. During Valentines that year instead of the boring old chocolates Xavier received a single silver earring shaped like a Sakura blossom and Mikan received a silver charm bracelet with pink diamond sakura blossoms as charms. They wore each other's gift like it was meant to be there. Some gifts and celebrations were even more extravagant. Mikan was still living with her parents so she saved all her money and Xavier was belonged to a wealthy family so money was no object to him. The monthly school magazine always had an article or two about them. Like 'The Sakura Couple Goes To Hong Kong To Celebrate 5th Monthsary' or 'X+M carved on Sakura Tree on Campus. Sakura tree Paid for by the couple themselves' It was obvious that they were celebrities during that time. They were the perfect couple. Then Xavier wrote a poem in the magazine each month for Mikan, His Sakura.

It was now senior year. The power couple was still as strong as ever. The first two weeks of senior year were okay. Then everything went downhill for Mikan. Mikan's parents divorced. She was going from one parent to another until she said she wanted to live alone. Then Mikan's fan club turned on her they said she didn't deserve Xavier. She was still holding herself together because her cornerstone was still there, Xavier.

Mikan and Xavier were sitting at 'their' Sakura tree. "Cherry Blossom, If I left would you be okay?" Xavier asked Mikan in an unsure voice. "I don't know and I don't want to find out." Mikan said as she hugged her boyfriend tightly and kissed him on the cheek. A month later Xavier left. No one knew why he left or where he'd gone to, except Mikan. Mikan was broken in every way. She clung to Hotaru everywhere. She wouldn't talk to anyone but Hotaru. Everyone started hating Mikan because of rumors that said it was Mikan's fault that Xavier left. Mikan spent every moment of her spare time under the shade of the Sakura tree.

During graduation Mikan celebrated alone. Hotaru told her that she needed space to breath. Mikan looked for a blank notebook and started writing. Every feeling she coped up inside was being written on that notebook. Mikan was still depressed as ever but at least now she had a way to express what she felt.

One rainy day Mikan went out to meet with Xavier's sister at a restaurant. "Xavier told me to give you this." She said handing Mikan a pink envelope. Sakura petals. Mikan was hurt all over again. Mikan left the restaurant because she was afraid of breaking down in front of Xavier's sister. I'll be fine without him. Mikan told herself. While she was walking she read the letter.

My Cherry Blossom,

I'm sorry for leaving that way. I couldn't bring myself to say goodbye to you face to face. I'm now in California. My parents want me to study college here then take over the family business. My time with you will forever be the most precious days of my life. You are the most beautiful, caring, innocent and emotional being that I will ever know. You will always have a place in my heart Sweet Blossom. Please for give me for what I will say next but I think you should know. My parents arranged a marriage for me here. Even though I objected to it there was nothing I could do. They were going to hurt my friends there and you. You especially, so I could do nothing but oblige. I am deeply sorry. You'll always be special to me but I have to devote myself to this engagement and my family. I won't be coming back, ever. I won't look for you. So please let me go and move on. Love again. As much as I know you don't want to hear this. Time will teach me to love the person I have to marry. She's good for me. Time will also lessen my love for you. I hope it does the same for you.

Embracing reality,

Xavier

Mikan's tears were hidden by the pouring rain. "At least the clouds understand what I feel." She said as she crammed the 'move-on letter'. She didn't realize she was crossing the street when…

RAIN

…

…

…

…

BLOOD

…

…

…

TEARS

SOMEONE CALL 911! SOMEONE'S HIT! IS THERE A DOCTOR HERE! … Mikan tried getting up but there was sever pain in her rib cage and her head. "He's not ever coming back…'cough'…so its better for me to leave too…'cough'" Mikan whispered to the clouds. Then she felt that she was being lifted. " 'cough' Ruka-kun…'cough' "

"What happened to her?" Hotaru asked Ruka. "She was hit by a car. A witness said she wasn't looking when she crossed the street. That she was reading something." Ruka informed Hotaru. "That Idiot!" Hotaru screamed. "Wait what could she have been reading that couldn't wait until later." Hotaru knew that Mikan wasn't the type to be reading unless required to or unless it was something written by… XAVIER! "Where's her bag?" Hotaru asked the now confused Ruka. He handed the hand bag to Hotaru. She dumped all the contents on the floor. Cherry lip gloss, keys, cell phone, money…a piece of pink paper? Hotaru opened the crumpled thing and read it silently. She grew redder by each word. She slammed the piece of paper on Ruka's chest. "How dare he! How dare he hurt her again! That jerk! Doesn't he know how hard her life is right now!" She approached the still unconscious Mikan and held her hand. "She's so fragile and everyone keeps breaking her." Hotaru said with misty eyes.

After Mikan woke up she changed suddenly. "I want to date again. I don't care about that jerk face anymore." Mikan said in a cheerful voice. Every one thought she had gone crazy. "You don't have to do this Mikan-chan." Anna said. "Its not that I have to, I want to." She said happily. Then after that she became a 'play girl'. She dated and 'loved' a guy for a month or two then brakes up with him then dates another guy and another guy and so on.

END OF HIGH SCHOOL STORY

"So that's why we think she's like that now." I finished. "Hn." Was all Natsume said. My best friend seemed to be affected my Mikan. For Natsume that's an improvement but as for Mikan. We can't say what's best for her anymore. "Anyway, she'll hang on to you unless you tell her off and if you do she'll feel rejected and guilty all over again. Believe me, Mikan going crazy is as bad as Hotaru going crazy." I told him. Natsume twitched. "But why won't she speak to Hotaru or any of you guys?" Natsume asked me. "Because she thinks that if she hangs around us with her in that situation she'll be causing trouble for us. She won't listen if we try to explain. MIkan is as stubborn as a rock when she decides these things." I sighed. "Well I better get going Natsume. Hotaru told me to talk to you and to tell you to take care of Mikan for her. She said she'll pay you back someday for this." I smiled then left.

End of Chapter.

Sad chapter. I'll try to liven things up. R&R


	8. I'm sort of finefor now

**Disclaimed**

**=pRiCe RaNge=**

Mikan

I hope I'm not a burden to him. I just can't stand being alone right now, knowing guys like that still walk freely. I shuddered. A picture of Xavier appeared in my head. His soft smile his angelic hair his perfect nose... "NO!" I screamed. "I HATE HIM! I ABSOLUTELY DETEST THAT FREAK OF NATURE CALLED A GUY!" I ranted as tears fell again. I wiped at them furiously. I glanced at the picture of Hotaru and I on my desk. "I'm trying to change but I don't want you to see me like this. I know how much it hurts you to see me suffer. I took out a box I kept under my bed. The label wrote 'The Past'. I opened it. It was filled with pictures, pictures which confused me. It was a collection of all the guys I dated, as I scanned the photographs some bought memories but most of them I didn't even recognise. At the bottom of the box was a smaller box. It was filled with photos of me and... him. I closed the boxes and put them away. "What should I do?"

While I was cooking dinner, (Natsume was coming over.)

I realised a couple of things.

First, I need to straighten out my life

Second, I need to at least loosen my grip on Natsume or I might lose an awesome friend.

Third, I need to find a guy to at least protect me. I sighed. And I HAVE TO LOVE HIM. I need love in my life or it would just be full of hate.

When Natsume came I was in my normal house clothes. I think I somehow managed to get my act together. I was wearing light blue short shorts and a white tank top. When I opened the door I saw an exquisite guy in an all too normal attire. "Come in Natsume-kun." He walked in my apartment like he was the one who owned it. He sat down on my sofa and turned on the TV. What a slob! "We'll have dinner in 10 minutes." I said and turned to the kitchen.

Well at least he still came. He isn't the type to acknowledge a normal person, Ruka-kun told me that. I didn't know if I was going to smile or frown about that. I have to tell Natsume-kun about my plans on improving... and finally moving on. Permanently. I stirred the soup for one last time then transferred it to a bowl. There dinner's set and ready. "Natsume-kun the food's done." I said as I sat on one end of the table.

"Natsume-kun I um... have a few um... things to... hmm...say." I fumbled through my rice bowl. He looked up with an uninterested look on his face. "I want to um... to... be...um...better." I finished. He put down his bowl and looked straight at me. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. I looked down. "Better?" He said in a dead tone. "Well yeah. Um...I don't like the way I've been these few days." I stopped and looked up. He was still looking at me with those daunting crimson eyes. "I know I caused you a lot of trouble. Ruka told me...everything." I said in a weird throaty voice. "You would have found out anyway." He shrugged. "You have enough drama in your life besides me forcing to gain attention." Inside I felt somehow degraded, hurt. He just looked at me then resumed eating again. "You're a great friend Natsume-kun, even if we weren't that way at first." He looked a bit unprepared to hear what I said. "I have an explanation about everything although it's not a very good one." I confessed. He nodded. "Ruka has already told me." I was a thankful that I didn't have to explain it myself. "Oh." I said in a relieved tone. "Are you done eating?" I asked looking at his empty plate. He nodded again. "I'll clear the table first then I'll show you something." I told him.

After clearing the table, I went to my room. I took two boxes from under the bed. I walked out to the living room carrying the loads. I set them on the coffee table. Natsume looked at me questioningly. I opened the first box. The easier on to open. The pictures. Natsume looked at all of them one by one. When he reached the bottom of the box it revealed the smaller one inside it which contained the hurtful memories. It still had the scent of light strawberries. "I think you deserve better than him." He said looking up from the photos of Xavier. "I tried to look for better guys." I said pointing at the other pictures. When he was done I took the larger box. It was a bit heavy. "I haven't opened this in a few years." I said, mostly to myself. I urged him to open the box. I didn't want to touch it. The first thing he pulled out were a few trinkets. A small pouring key chain, a cute pin etc. "Those are from sophomore year. He gave me those when he thought I was gloomy or sad." I said trying to avoid emotion. He pulled out clothes next. "He um... liked to go see me 'looking pretty'." I explained as he raised a red dress. The next thing he pulled out was a bit shocking for me to see because it reminded me of how 'in love' that guy and I were. He pulled out the jewellery. Most of them were gold only a few were silver. He wanted gold because it was like his hair. Seems weird doesn't it? I never asked for how much those things were but looking at them now I know they are worth a fortune. I want to return it to Xavier. I don't want to have anything to do with him but I don't want to give away something so expensive either. The last thing in the box was a stack of papers. "Those are the poems he wrote for me." I said."His writing is something I'm actually thankful for because after he left me. Writing was the only way I could be myself before. "Could write one now?" Natsume asked out of the blue. "Um...sure, I guess." I said taking a piece of paper under the table. I wrote one stanza then gave it to Natsume.

Wild and beautiful

Captivating yet dangerous

I hope I can see more though

Because this rose is only in its growth

It has not bloomed yet

And I will wait here until it does.

-M.S.-

"You are good Sakura." He said. I think he saw my cheeks flushing. "Why didn't you take journalism though?" He asked. "Well, writing is a part of me but it's not something I want to known for. I have always wanted to get into the acting scene but there just isn't any opportunities for me. Besides I won't make much of a living from writing anyway. "Hn." He said then I put everything back in the boxes.

Before Natsume went home I told him something. I told him that I was going to be a completely different from the weak useless me he saw. I want to do it but I couldn't read Natsume's eyes.

**Thats it for now guys. But all of the poems I've used came from Xiao Wawa(I have permission) It would be great if we could support her on facebook just add her.(same name) Thanks guys! R&R! **


	9. Changes

**Disclaimed**

**=pRiCe RaNge=**

**Mikan**

I woke up on Monday to the sound of 8 alarm clocks. I was up immediately. I mean who wouldn't? I had extra time to get ready. I even had time to have breakfast! I was really excited for this new day. I felt like today would be a success. I wore a light blue floral micro dress under my comfy old blue jeans and a pair of my white 3 inch wedges. I was in front of the mirror trying to figure out what to do with my hair. Hmm... I wasn't in an imaginative mood so I just let it down so it naturally curled at the bottom. I walked out the door and was on my way to face the new day.

**Natsume**

I was sitting at my desk reading a manga as I usually would when the noise in our classroom became too loud to bear.

"Did you see that girl?"

"Yeah! I didn't know we had girls that HOT here!"

"Maybe she's an undercover spy!"

"You idiot she's probably a super hero in disguise!"

"You guys are all wrong she's an angel..."

'Sigh'

Another one of those superficial girls? I returned to my manga their conversation went on and on. I decided to go to the Sakura trees.

...

...

...

"Natsume-kun?" I opened my eyes to see Mikan's face inches from mine. She smiled and it was like the skies silver lining was a halo on her head. "What do you want." She looked like she was thinking really hard. "Well, was thinking if you want to go to the beach with everyone this Friday since its the start of summer break?" I wasn't one to go to public places. "It's going to be in Hotaru's private beach." It figures. That Imai doesn't like public places much either. "Hn." She sat down beside me. I closed my eyes again. I could hear her pen writing, her hair lightly brushed the side of my face. I wanted to... "Hey, don't sit here if you're going to make me eat your hair." I said with a sharp edge to my voice. I thought she would cry again or something. Instead she took a rubber band and tied her hair. "Hn." She resumed her writing. A few minutes of sleep later she woke me up. "Natsume can you try to run these lines with me. I'm writing a script for class later."

She said handing me a script. "Start from that part." She pointed out.

"Suki, how can I prove my love?." I said in a dead voice. I thought Mikan would make me stop but she didn't.

"Hioshu, you don't need to prove anything but we can't be together. I'm sorry." She acted so well I could see the tears in her eyes.

"But there must be a way! I won't let you marry Subaru!"

"It is my father's wish. I can do nothing but abide by his words. I may be marrying him. But my heart will forever belong to you. So please let me go. Please."

"Never."

"Please." She begged. "I can't bear to see you this way," The tears then fell. She closed her eyes and let the tears fall. She looked so hurt. So real.

I went back to the script.

"If you don't want to see me this way then don't leave me."

"You know I don't want to leave you." She said clutching my shirt. "But I have to." She said letting go.

"You're a pretty good actor Natsume-kun." Mikan said with a lopsided smile.

"Hn." Her acting was so real. So emotional. Maybe...

"Thanks Natsume-kun!" Mikan said as she got her bag and left.

**Mikan**

"So what are we going to do there guys?" I asked excitedly. They all stared at me in a weird way. Even Hotaru. "Mikan-chan are you sure you want to go?" Anna asked hesitantly. "Why wouldn't I? It's been a while since we went to the beach." They all seemed to agree with Mikan's perspective. "There are a lot of rooms in the vacation house on the beach so that's not a problem." Hotaru said continuing with the planning.

...FRIDAY...

"Three hours of being cramped in the van guys!" Anna announced. Poor Ruka was carrying all of Hotaru's luggage to the other car. "I feel sorry for him." I heard someone behind me say. There were about 3 vans. One contained our group, the other filled with other friends and the other filled with Hotaru's stuff. I was squeezed between Tsubasa-sempai and Natsume-kun. The trip was a quiet one, except for the radio and the usual humming. No one seemed to want to start a conversation. I fell asleep at one point I just don't remember what part of the trip.

When I woke up we were in front of a HUGE MANSION. It was twice the size of Hotaru's home in Tokyo. 'Gulp'. "Hotaru-chan I know that I've been here before but has this 'house' gotten bigger?" I asked. "Yes, my mom hosts parties here and this is where dad's business partners from abroad come for a vacation of some sorts." Hotaru informed me. Everyone was as surprised as I was, well except Ruka. Hotaru required him to come with him to her mother's parties. Which happens every so often. In the luxurious living room Hotaru announced something. "Guys will be staying in the left wing and the girls on the right. I just have to say that I don't care if you follow it or not. For example, I will be in a two bedroom quarters with Ruka. You guys have a choice. And there is a gameroom, theatre, bowling alley in the basement. Outside there are also a lot of stuff you guys can do besides the beach. There is also a tennis court, a private hot spring, a basketball court and a beach volleyball net set outside. Breakfast will be at 8, Lunch will be at 12, the staff serves tea in the courtyard in the afternoons and dinner will be at 7:30. Everyone clear about what I said?" All the heads bobbed up and down like robots. "Good." Hotaru said and left pulling Ruka by the arm and three butlers following them with their luggage.

I chose to follow what Hotaru said and sleep at the right wing, in a single room. Although the room was twice the size of my room. As I unpacked I realized I picked an all too perfect room. I had a clear view of the magnificent ocean. I promised myself I would be up at sunrise. 'Knock, knock.' "Come in." I called. Misaki-sempai came in. "Mikan-chan were heading to the beach everyone's coming want to join us?" She said so bubbly. "Sure just let me get dressed." I said. "I'll wait for you here."

I was torn between the two. A gorgeous one piece or a showy bikini? Hmm...The white one piece was a gift from Anna-chan a few years back and the bikini is my own design. I decided to wear the one piece first, I would just wear the bikini when we went to the beach tomorrow.

When I came out I felt Misaki-sempai scanning my entire body. "Wow Mikan, I didn't expect that sort of body from you." I stared at my reflection in the mirror. The thin cloth hugged my curves beautifully. "It's all thanks to Anna-chan." I told her. "She gave it to me as a birthday present last year." I put on a wide hat, cream flip flops and a new towel. "Let's go." I motioned.

When my feet touched the sand it was so perfect! I ran to where Hotaru and the others were. "Guys let's get in the water!" I said happily. They all stood there looking at me. Did I have something on my face? "Guys is something wrong?" I asked confused. They all shook their heads. "Let's go swimming Mikan-chan!" Misaki-sempai said as she pulled me towards the tides, the others following us.

**RUKA**

Mikan seemed to be oblivious to the attention she was getting these couple of days. It was like déjà vu. Like sophomore year. She was the innocent, sweet and pure girl that captured every guy's heart. When she came out in her bathing suit, everyone seemed to be focused on only her. "She keeps changing." Was the one thing Hotaru and I noticed about her. If she's changing for the better than that's great.

Every little word that came out of Mikan's mouth seemed to be like hypnosis to all the guys that were with us. Well that is except Natsume. I think he's glad that Mikan isn't clinging to him anymore. "I love the beach, don't you? " All the people around her just nodded and smiled at her. "Let's play beach volleyball." Misaki-sempai said while setting up the net between two perfectly placed palm trees. "I want Mikan, Anna, Hotaru, Sumire and Nonoko on my team." Misaki-sempai announced. "Its boys vs. girls." Then the other team was formed and were, Tsubasa-sempai, Youchi, Subaru, Inichou, Hoshio and myself.

After an hour of playing, the boys lost. It was all because they were all staring at Mikan the entire game. Well that and Hotaru was playing so it freaked everyone out. I think the guys were still happy that they lost because they could see Mikan smile, laugh and they could hug her congratulations. I didn't know if I should laugh or not at what I saw. Mikan was too innocent to recognise the stares and the sudden admirers. What if it was more than an admirer I wonder if she would be able to handle herself?

At the dinner table everything seemed back to the way things were before. Mikan seemed to be glued to Hotaru but she was staying at a distance with Natsume. Natsume wasn't the type to speak his thoughts. I already know what he's thinking but I don't think the others do.

**MIKAN**

I was in Ruka-kun and Hotaru's room. I was speaking to Hotaru while I had the chance. "I know I've made things hard for you guys again. But I'm trying to improve myself. I was really trying to be my own person and to find someone who actually deserves me." I smiled at her, at the happiness of being able to open my thoughts with someone. She hugged me, without charge, she hugged me. I could feel the comfort she was trying to give me. "I missed you, a lot." She told me. I nodded in agreement.

"I'm making sure you make the right choice in a guy this time or else." Hotaru said smiling mischievously. "O-okay" I said shakily.

After our talk Hotaru pulled me out onto the stair case that descended to where everyone was. On top of the stairs, where EVERYONE could see us she announced something, "There will be a ball tomorrow evening. We will be looking for a prince." She said, and then looked at me. "For this princess." I think I blushed the entire colour wheel. "Hotaru-chan this isn't necessary." I whispered loud enough so only she would hear (There were butlers beside us). "Did everyone bring a formal dress?" They all nodded their heads.

**End of chapter.**

**Oh. Can you guys guess what will happen? Even I'm excited. Thanks for the reviews but one of them was a bit umm... surprising. I just want everyone to know I will never stop writing even if it isn't on the web.**

**-arielletracy03**


	10. I wish

**Disclaimed**

**=pRiCe RaNge=**

**MIKAN**

"Hotaru-chan, do I really have to wear this?" Mikan quizzed as she looked at herself in the full length mirror. "Yes, now change to the next one." She said. Everyone was in their rooms getting themselves ready for the Ball tonight. Yesterday Hotaru took me out to go shopping. We bought a bunch of clothes. She got me 2 cocktail dresses and 3 evening gowns. "If I had known that there would be something like this I would have brought dresses from home." I mumbled as I tried dress after dress. I came out of the bathroom dressed in a black gown. It had a high slit on the side and hugged my body. "This one?" I asked. She shook her head. 'Ugh.' I carried another dress then came out and again and again until I was wearing the 5th one. The last gown. It was a strapless, glossy, dark blue floor length gown, which had a black corset that cris crossed in the front and the bottom of the gown had Sakura accents which were in silver. I fell in love with the dress. I came out with a speech ready. "Hotaru-chan this is the last dress. And I like this the most. Can I please just wear this?" After everything she said she just nodded her head. She took a dress form the one of a shopping bag I didn't see earlier and went to the bathroom. After a few minutes she came out in a low cut glossy black gown which had an even higher slit than the one I tried on earlier. She was drop dead gorgeous.

"Hotaru-chan, This isn't nessesary." I said as she forced me to descend dramatically down the long staircase in my gown. "Wait." She said as she put on a simple silver chain on my neck with a diamond pendant. "Okay, now go." She said in a soft smile. When I went down the stairs I could feel everyone's eyes on me. In a way I loved the feeling. It somehow made me feel like I accomplished something in a way. When I got to the bottom of the steps someone immediately asked me to dance. "Mikan-chan you look beautiful tonight." He said as we strode to the dance floor. I heard a lot of other compliments other than that in the evening. Like...

"You are blooming tonight."

"You seem to become more and more addicting to look at."

"I have had my eyes on you even before you were dressed that way, but now I think I will never be looking anywhere else."

And a lot more(The last one gave me goose bumps it was somewhat stalker like). I felt tired from all the dancing so I went to have a walk on the beach. I took of my high heels and felt my feet touch the sand as I held my dress's flowing skirt in the other so it wouldn't get ruined. I may look crazy right now walking in the sand in an expensive dress. I don't care anyway. So I just continued to walk.

**NATSUME**

I didn't want to attend the ball thing. I did that way too much in America that it bores me now. Even more than it bored me then. So I here I am on one of the beach chairs with a guitar in hand. I strum a few chords and hum in tune with it. I can't believe I still remember how to play this. I used to but it was a long time ago. I borrowed the guitar from one of the music rooms in the mansion. I could hear someone in the distance singing in a soft soprano voice. The music seemed so natural. I listened intently with my eyes closed till the sound came nearer and nearer. Then it stopped abruptly. "Natsume-kun, what are you doing here?" I could hear Mikan's voice as I opened my eyes. She was the one singing. She seemed to be a string with endless surprises. When I didn't answer her question she just shrugged and sat down on the beach chair on mine and lied down. The dress did suit her. The blue set her skin glowing in contrast. I did the same as her and lied down. "Natsume-kun why aren't you at the ball?" She asked breaking the silence. "I should be the one asking you that since the ball is in your honour." I said lazily. "I was there but my feet got tired from all the dancing." She said shaking her feet under the long dress. "Hn." She turned and looked at me. "You still haven't answered my question though." She wasn't going to give this up was she? "I would rather be alone than be in a room crammed with dancing people." I answered rather bitterly. "Oh." She seemed to have expected a sharp answer so she had no surprised reaction. "Natsume-kun the more I know you the less I know about you." She said in a now confused manner. "I think I know what you're thinking but I really don't." She said as she looked at the night sky. "I feel confused when I think of what you are to me." I somehow felt that way too. I couldn't say that out loud though. So I chose to shut up and just listen. "You seem to know where you're going from here. I don't even know how I'll get through tomorrow." She was wrong. I had no idea of the future than she did. I had left my future in California and chose to live here. But I didn't say anything to hinder her thoughts about it. "I think I should get back to the ball now." She said standing up. "I won't be in your way." I said as I went back to strumming the guitar. I hope I did. Something inside me hopes I did stop her.


	11. Conversations

**Disclaimed**

**=pRiCe RaNge=**

**MIKAN**

I didn't bother to finish the party. I knew I wouldn't find my 'prince' tonight anyway. My feet were so sore from the dancing. I think Hotaru and Ruka are still there. Hotaru's still probably eating. Poor Ruka, he hasn't even danced with Hotaru yet. I went to my room and removed the killer heels. I decided to take a hot bath to relive the stress.

While I was taking a bath rain started to drop outside. _I wonder if Natsume's still outside. _The rain became stronger by the second suddenly lighting and thunder started echoing outside my window. When I got to bed the wind was still pretty strong. Suddenly all the lights went out. A few minutes later I could hear Hotaru talking through a megaphone. "EVERYONE EVACUATE TO THE GREEN HOUSE. CARRY AS MUCH FOOD AS YOU CAN." She said it over and over again. Good thing my new pen had a light attached to it. I took my notebook and headed to the green house.

I thought the green house was pretty big but with everyone crammed in it and only dim lanterns lighting it, it felt a bit crowded. I found where Hotaru and the others were and sat with them. Even with everyone in the green house the weather still bought chills to my goose bump developing skin. I opened my notebook and pen...

As the rain poured its tears at me

I knew the truth that I wish wouldn't be

I knew I asked for something beyond my grasp

And that this hope would never last.

The rain seemed to say

Love again another day

I didn't even know if I could get through today

I wished that love would come to me

But it seems that love is something that will take forever for me to see.

By what I wrote it seemed like I was a loveless freak. I closed the notebook and decided to take a nap on the blankets that were set up on the floor. I slept on Hotaru's lap as she ate the shrimp chips.

When I woke up the rain was still blowing but everyone else was asleep. I was going to ask Hotaru where the water was but when I looked up I found a different face that was defiantly not Hotaru's. Natsume. When I was about to scream his hand came over my mouth. "Imai didn't want you to wake up so she asked me to stay with you while she made sure the staff at the mansion hasn't frozen to death." He explained in a whisper so he wouldn't wake up the others. Then he removed his hand from my mouth. "You didn't have to suffocate me!" I said in a sharp whisper. "You would have screamed if I didn't. I think you have been the centre of things during this trip enough." He said not looking at me directly. "I have never done anything that would make me sound like such an attention seeker!" I said sharply. He looked at me with those daunting crimson eyes but didn't say anything. "What?" I asked. "Nothing." He said then left.

What was that all about? I haven't done anything out of the ordinary. I thought that tonight I could just get a good night sleep. When Natsume left I found a cup of instant noodles to eat. I took a long, good sip of the soup. "Ahh..." Just as I was about to take another sip someone rushed by me and spilled my cup on me. "Oh I'm sorry. I can't see too well. I left my glasses at the mansion. I'm really sorry." The guy explained with great length. "It's okay." I said and forced a smile as I felt the hot soup on my clothes and skin. I looked for Hotaru who just came back and asked I asked if she has extra clothes with her. She nodded and handed me a pair of sweat pants and a white tank top. "Thanks." I said as I changed clothes under the comforter.

The tank top I had on seemed tight on me. I looked at the tag, 'S' Small. I was a medium. It being white doesn't help because I had on a black bra. My chest was barely hid my chest. It shows too much cleavage. I asked Hotaru if she had anything in a medium and she raised a see through night gown. Well better this tight thing than that. I thought as I shook my head. I went back to my 'bed' and looked if I brought anything that I could use with me. I poured out the contents of the small bag and there was nothing I could use. Darn. I went to get a cracker and when I came back to my place, there was a neatly folded black T-shirt. It was a big shirt; it seems to be owned by a guy.

There was a note on top of the shirt 'Wear it.' No name though. Well anything was better than this top. So I wore the shirt on top of the tank top. Do you know how sometime the things you own have a certain scent as well as other people? Well as soon as the shirt slipped through my frame I knew who's shirt I was wearing. _Thanks Natsume-kun. _This shirt must be 100% cotton because I feel so comfortable in it. What a weird thought. I laid down on my make shift bed and closed my eyes to get a bit of shut eye.

I was awake unusually early the next morning. Everyone seemed to be asleep so I decided to take a walk in the gardens outside. As I was passing by the others I saw Hotaru and Ruka asleep next to each other, with Hotaru clutching Ruka's arm. It was weird seeing Hotaru this venerable with Ruka. I saw a camera slipping from Hotaru's bag and decided to take a picture. "Aw...so sweet." I whispered. As I was viewing the other pictures from last night I saw a series of pictures which were of Natsume putting his shirt on my cot. The thing that bothered me was he was only wearing an undershirt. It was so cold last night that I had to put my wasted clothes on top of the blanket for some warmth. I looked around the greenhouse for Natsume but only saw an empty cot. "Maybe he's outside", I mumbled. The morning air felt like needles on my skin giving me goose bumps. I found him petting a cat near one of the flower beds. He looked so gentle with the tiny animal. "Natsume-kun." I was surprised at the volume in my voice and the emotion in it as well. The look in his eyes as he looked at me felt like he wanted me to bear a hole in my head. I squatted next to him and smiled. The cat started to circle around me, tickling me with its tail. "You're a cutie." I said as I touched its soft fur. It purred in pleasure. I giggled at the cute thing trying to get more attention. "Natsume-kun where did you find it?" I asked as I continued to pet its fur. "It was getting drenched in the rain last night so I brought it in with me." He explained. "Oh." I lost my words at his display of sensitivity towards this small defenceless animal. I suddenly remembered why I was looking for him. "Thanks for the shirt Natsume-kun." I said as I removed the shirt handing it to him. I was only wearing Hotaru's tank top which reviled a lot of skin. I didn't realize that I started shivering immediately. "Baka(Idiot)." Was the shirt not his? He took the shirt and wrapped it around me horizontally. I handed it back to him. "You must be cold. You slept like that last night. And it was freakin cold last night Natsume-kun." He shook his head. Pointing to the cat. I doubt that the cat much of a difference. "I'm not THAT stupid Natsume-kun. I know well enough that you were uncomfortable last night so take the shirt back." He seemed unmoved. I was pressing the shirt against his bare arms. He took my wrist and looked me in the eye. "You need it more than I do." Was all he said then left me sitting there with the shirt and the cat. You are a really weird person Natusme-kun.

Natsume

I needed to straighten out my thoughts...and feelings. Mikan sends my sensibility off. Of course I knew how unbearably cold it was last night. I knew how much more comfort that shirt would have been to me. But it didn't matter. All I thought when she had that tight thing on her was to cover her up. The looks the guys around her were giving worse than the words they had to say. I could handle freezing for one night. I thought as I walked back to the green house.

Ruka

I woke up with my angel still asleep next to me. Although the position we were in was touching my arm was starting to ache. I tried to be as gentle as possible in removing her grip and slip out of the 'bed' to get a glass of water. While I was drinking I saw Natsume come in with satisfied look on his face. "Why so happy?" I asked after taking a gulp. He just looked back through the doors. Luckly we were in the greenhouse so I could see what he was looking back at. It was Mikan sitting outside with a shirt in hand and a cat on her lap. I wonder what happened outside. "Let's go outside for a walk Natsume." He followed me as I led him out the other door on the other side of the green house. We followed a worn path. When we were a fair distance away from the green house I asked. "What are your thoughts on cats?" He seemed to be thinking way to deeply for an answer to my simple question. "They're um... Mysterious." Was all Natsume said. "What are your thoughts on Mikan?" I dared to ask. That seemed to hit the spot. He stopped walking and sat down at the stump of a tree. Natsume was a person who almost never shows fear, confusion and most of all affection. "Let me rephrase my question. Who is Mikan to you an acquaintance, a friend, a charity cause or something more?" Natsume seemed to be baffled at my questions. After a few minutes of silence he spoke up. "She's more than just an acquaintance or friend, definitely not a charity cause but I'm not sure if she's something more." He said still not solving his confusion. "Do you care for her?"

"I don't know how I feel." (Natsume)

"Then let me help you figure out how you feel."(Ruka)

"Go ahead and try." (Natsume)

"Okay. Do you get mad at her?" (Ruka)

"Yes." (Natsume)

"Are you mad because she has been a nuisance?" (Ruka)

"No, I get mad because, because she hurts herself." (Natsume)

"So you get mad that she brings herself pain? (Ruka)

"I guess." (Natsume)

"Ruka, are you playing my psychologist?" (Natsume)

"Yes. And I'll be the one asking the questions." (Ruka)

"Hn." (Natsume)

"Are you in love with her?" (Ruka)

"Ruka!" (Natsume)

"Well answer the question." (Ruka)

"Maybe. I'm not sure." (Natsume)

"Natsume." (Ruka)

"What?" (Natsume)

"You look like a confused lovesick schoolgirl." I said after the weird conversation. "Hn." He said with a smirk on his face. "At least now we're a bit nearer to finding out how you feel." I said nudging him on his side. We both laughed. "Whatever. Your monster is probably awake by now. Let's go back." My cheeks were aching from smiling. Natsume looks so stupid whenever his feelings are discussed. But he was right I should be getting back to 'my monster' or she really will turn into one."

End of chapter

Love is found in the most random things...

Even in a simple gesture.

-Xiao wawa

Please read and review. I live for them. Well they inspire me to write more. I'll be posting soon.


	12. Drama

**Disclaimed**

**=pRiCe RaNge=**

**MIKAN**

'After the black out and back in the mansion'

I can't seem to get rid of the thought that Natsume could somewhat care. I know that to some level he does care about me because he took me in after THAT incident. He avoids me in every way after that and now that he did those things yesterday. He keeps telling me that I'm some sort of attention seeker. I mean is it wrong to look like a girl? I shouldn't care about what he thinks of me anyway. I carried the cat near the window. I saw Natsume and Ruka walking back to the mansion. "Hmph." I couldn't care less about the guy, I thought while walking the opposite direction.

During lunch I sat with guys who I met during the ball. They seemed nice enough so I let them sit with me. We were going to a hot spring right after so I was wearing a bikini and a sarong. It seemed that our table was a bit crowded, because their arms and hands seemed to brush across my arm or face. Their faces seemed to get closer to mine by the second. I ducked and just ate my food. I could feel the blush in my face. Then suddenly two guys grabbed me by my arms. The guys at the table seemed like their eyes were throwing daggers at the guys who were dragging me out the door. I wanted to break their hold on my arms before they break them but the guys were too strong. I was being dragged to the gardens. Suddenly I was facing Hotaru and the two guys who were actually Ruka and Natsume. They let me go and helped me stand up. "Why all this drama?" I asked. Natsume's face seemed to be filled with anger and so did Ruka's but not us much as Natsume's. Hotaru had a mischievous look on her face. "I think you guys should talk." Hotaru said looking at Natsume and me. "I don't have anything to say to him." I said not looking at all of them. Natsume just makes me feel so confused and angry. I don't like it when he gets mad at me. It makes me feel rejected all over again. "But he does." Hotaru said leaving Natsume and I alone.

I sat at the trunk of an apple tree. "What?" I asked staring at him from head to toe. He didn't say a word, he didn't even look at me. "Why did you drag me out here?" I asked again. Still no answer. "Look, we're about to leave for the hot spring and I promised some guys that I would ride with them. I said ready to get up. "Do you have to?" He said finally speaking up. "Those guys are waiting for me." I said standing up. "Is your self-worth really that low that you have to have those jerks around you?" He said with disgust in his voice. I was fuming with anger. Who was he to judge me like that? I just wanted things to be normal again. He doesn't know anything about me. NOTHING AT ALL. I spun around to face him and slapped him in the face. I hit him and it felt so good to get my anger out. He caught my hand though, right after I hit his face. I pulled and he spun me around and held me. I wiggled and jerked to get free from his hold. "Let me go!" I screamed, my elbow hitting him in his gut. He didn't budge. "Despicable, judgemental, JERK!" I yelled as the tears burned my eyes as I kept them from falling. Every time we were together he would only hurt me. "I can't stand the sight of you with those bastards." Natsume said into my ear, his voice seething with anger. "I hate you." I said. Then he pinned me on the ground and kissed me. It seemed like my mouth had a mind of its own because I was responding to his kisses. Natsume raised his head. "I don't." He said and ready to kiss me again. I covered his mouth with my hand. My sarong came of and I was only wearing a bikini. He picked it up and gave it to me. "Pervert." I said as he handed me the sarong but he suddenly pulled me ad kissed me square on the lips. Why did my eyes have to close? I thought. I broke the kiss and said, "That meant and felt like nothing." I said walking away without looking at him because I knew my face was lit up like a ripe tomato. "You're right it meant and felt like nothing I've ever meant and felt before." Natsume said loud enough for me to hear. "You are a disturbed person Natsume-kun." I said walking farther and farther away from the guy who stirs my emotions into a heart full of emotional turmoil. I reapplied my lip gloss. "Damn him." I could barely feel myself walking. Was I in a state of bliss? For him? No, no, no this is not happening. That jerk face can't steal my heart. Because I just know he's going to break it. Dang all this ranting and complaining! It just tells me that its too late. My heart has already been stolen and its going to get broken for sure. I saw Hotaru approaching me with a camera in hand. "Hotaru-chan why didn't you leave with the others for the hot springs?" She showed me a picture from her camera. "AH!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

**RUKA**

I feel sorry for Mikan. I thought as she screamed and tried to reach for that camera. "Please, please, Hotaru-chan DELETE those photos." Mikan begged. But Hotaru has a heart of stone when it comes to things she has her mind dead set on. The photos in that camera weren't just photos. They were a slide show of the 'things' that happened when they took a 'walk'. Hotaru dragged me in with her spying and prying. I was stupidly curious and didn't argue with it.

After a few minutes of listening to Mikan argue with Hotaru, Natsume finally came. His look was mysterious as well as mischievous. He's planning something. When Mikan saw him coming she ran to the mansion immediately. I completely understand why. No 'friend' is going to appreciate you kissing them ferociously and without their consent.

When Hotaru and I were alone in the gardens I spoke up. "Aren't you afraid that Natsume will only hurt Mikan. Not that I don't trust Natsume but his previous relationships haven't exactly worked out." I said lamely. She shrugged. "I can't protect her forever. She has to make her OWN choices and not just do what WE want her to do." She said viewing the photos. "Why do I have such a cruel girlfriend?" I said teasingly. She looked up and smiled, her smile seemed to say, 'Because you love me' Yes, I do love her. I placed her between my arms as she continued to look at her blackmail photos.

**MIKAN**

I rode to the hot spring with Misaki-sempai and the others instead of those guys. They just remind me of that. "Ew." I unknowingly said aloud. "What's so gross?" Tsubasa-sempai asked from the driver's seat. "Nothing." I said smiling my brightest.

In the hot spring I could hear the guys on the other side of the fence. There was silent chatter on both sides. After ten minutes the girls left and I was alone. I enjoyed the serenity. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the relaxation of my tense muscles. When I closed my eyes a picture of Natsume-kun popped in my head. Then...

I felt like I was floating...

Floating...

Then I was suddenly lifted...

Why did the freedom of floating stop?...

My lungs were drowned in air...

One thousand...

Two thousand...

Three thousand...

Four thousand...

...

...

"Natsume-kun?" Was I dreaming?...

I touched the worried face...

Then emptiness...

NATSUME's POV

When I was heading out of the hot spring I head a splash in the girl's side. What are they doing in there that would cause such a ruckus? I bumped into Misaki-sempai running inside the hot spring. "What's the matter?"I asked not really caring. "Mikan's still in there!" She said. I sprang into the girls area and grabbed a towel. "Idiot." I said running. I saw her sinking to the bottom, her hair barely there. I jumped and caught her with the towel. I carried her out of the pool. She wasn't breathing so I gave her CPR.

One thousand...Two thousand...'breath dang it!'...Three thousand...Four thousand...

"Natsume-kun?"She said touching my face gingerly.

"I'm here." I said pulling her into a tight embrace.

**MIKAN**

'beep...beep...beep...'

The sound rang in my ears when I woke up. 'Was I in a hospital room?' I thought looking around then saw Natsume-kun sleeping on a chair in a corner. Knowing he was there I was able to go back to sleep with those vague but treasured memories.

I woke up in the moringing with Natusme's face staring into mine. "Good morning." I said and gave him a smile. He enveloped me in his embrace. "I'm fine now." I said reassuring him. "I know." He said not letting go. Then a mouth water smell reached my nose. "Is that ramen?" I asked in a whisper. "You just needed to ruin the moment." He said teasing me. "But I'm hungry." I said patting my tummy. My stomach worked with me and growled for attention. He stood and got the two bowls. "Here." He said placing the tray on the table. "Thanks." I said. "Itadakimas ." We said together. He smiled. Oh dang! I know who you are!

He's that guy on all those commercials! And no I'm not stupid for not recognizing him. E never smiled before and that's how I see him on TV. Besides I couldn't afford cable and he was well known in the...STATES. He's handsome and all that and I'm nothing. I'm worth nothing than his fans. Everyone loves him and adores him. What's the difference if I have feelings for him. Every other female has feelings for him too. I suddenly lost my appetite. "Natsume-kun I'm full." I said pushing the barely touched ramen away from me. He looked at me weirdly "Are you sure?" He asked looking concerned. I don't deserve this treatment from him. I really don't. I'm just a girl with a less than normal life. A broken family, a motorcycle, a small apartment and a job that sustains me enough to have money to survive. And he's, well he's above all that. But I don't just want him in my life, I need him. I freakishly need him.

After we left the hospital Natsume brought me to a women's department store. "Why are we here?" I asked confused that we aren't going back to the mansion. "We'll e going back to the city. The activities they have for the last day are too active for you." He said. "That doesn't explain the department store though." I said. "Well, I doubt that you want to wear those clothes any longer. You've been wearing them since you came to the hot spring" He said leading me inside.

After he got me clothes we went to the jewellery section and approached a lady who had the tag as manager. "Hyuuga-san?" She asked for confirmation. She obviously knew who he was she was fluttering her eyes like there was dust in her eye. Natsume's famous. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle that. "Yes, I came to do the selection." He said obviously not caring about the probably-almost-thirty-flirt of a girl. "Right this way sir." She said leading us into an exclusive showroom at the back of the store. We were asked to wear gloves, the minute we walked in I was thinking, "This isn't my scene." She brought out a box and opened it. It showed a necklace for a guy. It was silver chain that reached mid chest has a dog tag. Weird I thought it would be more 'high-class'. The woman started speaking. "This chain if touched or clearly examined you will notice it has the engraved pattern of winding sakura blossoms, leaves and branches. The silver in the tag has infused diamond particles in it and also plate on the other side is white gold. The inscription may vary in the style you prefer but since you already paid for this one I will show the next one. She brought out what seemed to be a box for a ring. When she opened I gasped. "This is the first time these designs have been asked for. This is a hair pin with the sakura branches done in the same silver in the tag. Silver infused with diamonds. And the Blossom petals are done in pink diamonds and the centre is crystal." The woman looked at me with a snobby look. "I'll be getting that one too." Natsume said then left the small showroom.

Natsume wore his dog tag right after buying it and he bought the pin for me which I wouldn't wear there. I didn't agree to it but he didn't want to hear any of it. I heard some clerks saying that Natsume design these himself. The dog tag was already paid for so I don't know the price but the price for 2 hair pins would surprise you. He got me 2 hair pins one with white petals and the one with pink petals. Well they cost fifty grand. I mean why would you spend that much money?

When we were walking back to the parking lot it felt so weird to be holding this kind of thing. I realized his tag had an 'MiSa' on it. The small pins had his initials engraved on them too. "Natsume this is too much." I said trying to give it back. He sighed and said "I just want you to know that your value to me is worth more than billions of dollars or whatever." He said looking shy. I laughed. "You know you look like a little boy giving his 'love' a flower or something." I kissed his cheek. "Thank you. For everything." I said my heart filled with love and gratitude.

**NEW SCHOOL SEMESTER**

**WELCOME BACK STUDENTS**

I was wearing leather tights, a pink oversized shirt with a thick brown leather belt, nude wedges, oversized sunglasses and my pink hair pin. Natusme picks me up because he doesn't think the motorcycle isn't safe enough and I agree on him with that. He wore a plain black shirt over a grey jacket, a pair of jeans, vans, his 'cool guy' shades and his dog tag. We were walking in the middle of the corridor hand in hand. Cheesy right? I know. Everyone tells us that. When light hits my hair pin it gains a lot of attention because it creates small rainbows. We were to engrossed in talking with each other to realize the devilish stares the girls were giving me and the envious stares the guys were giving him. He dropped me off in my first class, gave me a quick hug and an "I'll meet you later". A girl was waiting for me in the front of the classroom. "Sakura-san?" She said pushing up her glasses. "Yes?" I said removing the sunglasses and putting them in my bag. "We would like to request you as the leading role for the spring play." She said shyly. "Sure. I'll check with the production later for the script and rehearsal details." I said flashing her my biggest smile.

End of chapter

What do you guys think? What do you think will happen now that they're together? Hmm... Review it and give your ideas I might use them. Thanks Guys!

Pain can also be an expression of love.

-X.W.W


	13. Happily ever after?

**Disclaimed**

**=pRiCe RaNge=**

**MIKAN**

I re-read the script again. It was a good one. It was a romantic tragedy. It was sort of like Romeo and Juliet only, it's in this era. _'Matthew I can't be with you anymore. It's more than I bargained for.' _That line stuck a chord somewhere in my heart. While I was reading the script someone slid beside me on the bench. He took the script in my hand. "Natsume, give it back." I said annoyed at his shenanigans. He read the script then handed it back to me. "I'm guessing your 'Beth'?" He said lying down on the bench. "You guessed right." I said putting the script in my bag. He smirked. "What?" I said knowing he knew something I didn't. "You'll know soon enough." He said getting up heading to the cafeteria. "Whatever." I think I'm becoming more and more like him.

When I arrived at the theatre all the girls were around some guy. I put my bag down and spoke to the director. He informed me of the rehearsal schedule. "Who's going to be playing Matthew?" I asked while scanning the line up. "Some guy foreigner called Kristopher something." The director answered. "Mikan." I heard someone call me. What was he doing here? "Natsume" I saw a copy of a script in his hands. "Oh God, You have a part in this don't you?" He just smirked at me. I groaned.

"Who are you going to be playing?" I said leaning lightly on him. "This guy." He said pointing to a guy's line in the script. "Oh, the bad guy." I said nudging his shoulder. "It suits me don't you think." He said moving to a more comfortable position. "Whatever." I finished, and then ran up the stage to mingle a little with the crew. When I got to the group surrounding the Kristopher guy he stood up and approached me. "Hi, I believe you're my leading lady?" He said extending his hand to me dramatically. Freak. That's what I wanted to say. Instead I said, "Yes I am. Sakura Mikan as Beth." I said shaking his hand but pulled away quickly. _This guys giving me the willies._ "Everyone! 5th scene! Drama! Lights! And Action!" The director said into the mini megaphone. Everyone scrambled into place.

-DIFFERENCES-

Narrator: The days were never this still or silent. High school will never be. But today it was. Something would happen today and Beth doesn't know what...

Beth: I'll never leave again. Never. Never. The hurt afterwards isn't worth the experience like they all say. (Clutching her chest and hand mirror in hand ) They don't know how absolutely worthless I am. I'm nothing. I'm just a piece of crap in world. (Break the hand mirror)

Narrator: She didn't know what would happen yet. She didn't know what the universe has prepared for her.

Matthew: (Lying in bed) Elise doesn't seem to be the same as she was before. I don't know if I even love her anymore. She is completely oblivious to the things I feel.

...and the rehearsal went on...

I got home from school, completely exhausted. Schoolwork, rehearsal, a leading guy with a cocky attitude and a headache of a boyfriend.

Beep...

Beep... Hello? Natsume?

_**Hm.**_

"What?" I asked cradling the phone on my ear so I could change into a comfy pair of shorts.

_**You want to go to dinner?**_

"I want to but my body doesn't. I'm so tired. I said with a groan."

_**But I want to see you.**_

"Natusme cheesy lines don't suit you." I said raising an eyebrow. "What do you want?"

_**Nothing. I just wanna see you.**_

"Natsume just tell me. I think I can handle whatever it is." He was silent for a while.

_**I really do miss you but you know there's something more don't you?**_

I didn't bother to answer the question. He knows the answer to it anyway.

_**I was offered a movie deal.**_

I swallowed the forming lump in my throat.

_**It's in America. **_

I thought I was going to faint. Could I bear to be away from him? I doubt it.

_**Mikan, you could go with me you know.**_

That wasn't a choice either. I can't leave Japan, but if he leaves then my heart leaves with him.

"When?" I asked.

_**It's still months after graduation. We can decide what to do later.**_

"O-okay. I'll hang up first okay. Love you, bye." I said.

I went to school the next day sleepless with bags under my eyes that couldn't be covered by any amount of concealer. I rubbed my temple to ease my headache. Natsume was always beside me even when he didn't need to be. I still don't know what to do about it. I could ask Natusme to reject the job not that he needs the money but acting is his art, his passion. I don't know how to go about it. I have my own dreams too.

He let go of my hand and gave me a look that seemed to say, 'we'll talk about IT later.' I sighed and made my way to class.

After what seems to be forever the day ended I was in bed trying to get some sleep but the conversation I had with Natsume wouldn't leave my thoughts. He would be graduating first and I would have to decide if I want to go with him or not without finishing collage. Or I could finish collage and I would just go to the States afterwards. I couldn't do either of the two. I screamed into my pillow. "Natsume, why won't you just TELL me what to do?" I said into the pillow. I sat on my bed and took the phone and dialled Hotaru's number and told her everything. At first she was mad because I intruded her sleep but then later on after she heard what would happen I heard the caring in her voice. "Mikan you have to BE the one to decide. I know that he means so much to you but losing sight of him for a little while can't be all that crappy? We'll all still be here with you." "I know, I know. It's just that sometimes I hope he wasn't famous. His status just makes me feel more unsure. I mean I'm just a simple person and he's all that and more. I can't make him give up that deal because of me. I couldn't live with myself if I did but then again I can't lose him either, it hurt already by just thinking about it." I said my voice filled with confusion. "Baka, You don't have to decide now you know. There are still a few months before he graduates. Lighten up and enjoy your time with him now." I just listened to my usually silent friend. "An observation I have of the two of you is that you care for each other way too much. You guys should be more selfish in your relationship. Well, I wanna go to sleep Mikan. Bye." Hotaru finished and the line went silent. "Bye." I whispered into the phone.

GRADUATION

Everyone in the senior class had beaming smiles on their faces except one. Natusme. He knew that today I would have to tell him my decision on how to go about our relationship. During the past months we were the same as always and growing stronger every day. Tears were rolling down my eyes as I stood in the bleachers waiting for this to end. Anna with wet eyes looked at me "I know right? I can't believe their graduating. Next year it'll be our turn. They're going out into the world, I wonder how that feels?" Anna-chan said to me. Her words meant so much more than what she wanted them to. Nobody besides Natsume, Hotaru, Ruka and I knew about the possible complication in our relationship. All they know is that Natsume and I were the couple to be this school year. I forced a smile at her.

Natsume and I were sitting under our tree for the last time. I told him my decision. He didn't try to change it.

"I'm breaking up with you."

Natsume just sat there with no reaction to what I just said. We both said nothing for a couple of minutes. I decided to break the silence. "Natsme, you know that it would have been too hard to keep a commitment when we're on different sides of the world." I let out a deep sigh. I leaned to give him a kiss on the cheek but he stood up without a word and just left.

After he left I was still in the same spot, I knew that I had to stand by me decision even if some part of me didn't agree with it. I chewed on my bottom lip until it went numb.

When I got home I took my notebook and lied in bed, pen and all.

**Bye.**

_I thought I would be alright_

_I thought my heart would give up without a fight_

_But letting you go is harder than it seems._

_I couldn't bear to watch as the love turned to nothing other than memories and dreams_

_I thought my eyes could bear to see_

_The sight of you leaving me_

_As the petals fell on my fallen tears_

_So come the surrounding fears_

_I have to learn how to live without you_

_I don't know how much of that decision I'll rue._

I cradled my head in my arms and something poked me. I touched my head looking for whatever it was. The hair pin, I was planning to give it back to him after his graduating but I guess it slipped my mind. I don't think I could give it back anyway. I didn't want to break up with him but him being a celebrity and I'm just plain old me. Our relationship would never work. People might look down on him because of me; I can't deal with his failure being my fault. I shook my head and blinked back the tears. I shoved the pin in my dresser drawer and slept that night smeared mascara and all. I couldn't care less on how I looked tonight. I just wanted to cry myself to sleep.

I woke up too late to go to work this morning. "I'll just call in sick." I mumbled as I headed to the bathroom to wash up. I wasn't lying about being sick anyway. I was sick about having to make that decision. I had to do it. We were from different levels in life. Natume accomplished what others could only dream of in their lifetime but I... I've just been living a sad life. Our price range was too different.

After lunch I took a jog and checked my mail. "Nothing but spam mail." I muttered. I threw the mail across the coffee table and a maroon envelope fell on the floor. Probably just another advertisement. I switched on the TV and just relaxed my nerves.

Later that evening I received a phone call from Hotaru-chan to go to Fukotomi. I was meeting her there in an hour.

When I got to Fukotomi Hotaru was just standing in front of the shop. She was facing the street. I tapped her shoulder. "Hotaru-chan, why did you want me to go out tonight?" She pointed to a cab on the otherside of the street. It was Ruka carrying a pair of suitcases onto a cart at the airport. I turned to Hotaru. "Is Ruka going out of the country?" She nudged me to keep looking. What I saw took all my strength not to go running to the other side. Natsume was also carrying luggage, only he was the one holding his passport. He hugged his friend goodbye and pushed the cart inside the doors. When Natsume was gone Ruka crossed the street. I held back everything, my tears, my uneasiness, my loneliness. Ruka took me in his arms and hugged me. Hotaru just hushed me like a mother trying to comfort her child. They knew how much pain Natsume's leaving caused me.

After a while they took me to a cafe and I ate strawberry shortcake to comfort myself. Ruka was paying. "Wasn't he leaving supposed to leave not less than three months from now?" I said stabbing the piece of cake. Ruka nodded."But he they called him early for the costume fitting and other stuff I don't know." Ruka said in an obvious angry voice. "I thought he came back to Japan because he didn't want to lose his 'best friend' again." I said then shoved a piece into my mouth. Ruka sighed. "Yes, he came back because of that but also because he said he was tired of working all the time. I will admit to you that I told him to take the job. I'm going to the states in a few years anyway. My dad works there and I'm taking over as soon as I finish collage." Ruka explained. I didn't have anything to say so I just nodded. Hotaru was sitting beside Ruka but she was staring at me like I was a foreigner in her eyes. After I finished my cake Hotaru said she would be sleeping in my apartment tonight so Ruka left on his own.

As soon as we got through my apartment door. Hotaru's face was red and she slapped me across my face. My cheek stung at the impact. "Hotaru-chan..." I said, tears already brimming in my eyes. "Don't you dare cry again Mikan. YOU were the one who LET HIM GO. You had a chance to be happy and you blew it! How stupid can you be!" She said going to the kitchen and removing pictures from the refrigerator's door. The pictures of me and Natsume. "You guys could have been like this all the time!" Hotaru-chan screamed at me waving the pictures in my face. She went to the my room and slammed door. "You were the one who broke your own heart this time IDIOT!" Hotaru screamed at the other side of the door. "I know." I whispered to myself. I grabbed a blanket and pillow and laid down on the couch. I wasn't going to get inside my room anyway. Not when Hotaru's in there.

The entire night I tossed and turned. I didn't get a wink of sleep. I decided to go jogging at 5 am just to get rid of all the nerves that God know where it came from. When I got home I took the mail and scanned it again. Just junk mail and that maroon envelope again. "Hmm...again?" I muttered inside the dim living room. Then Hotaru came out of my room looking as groggy as she slept last night. I put the envelope aside. "Morning." I said and got started on breakfast. I didn't get to open the envelope that day either.

School started again and I was pretty much over that person, on the outside that is. I still haven't read the maroon envelope that comes every month. What? I never had time to open it. I was busy in rehearsals this school year. I'll open it as soon as I have time I mentally said to myself.

Turns out that the time that I will have time to open the letter was after graduation when I was getting rid of all the junk that was cluttered in my apartment. I hate to say it but I completely forgot about it because senior year was so hectic. But schools all over now. My phone rang and it was Hotaru. "Hello?" I said as I finally opened the letter.

"_**Mikan, can you come over and bring me my files? Their on the dining table."**_ Hotaru asked, more like commanded.

I read the letter. "Oh My Gosh. Oh. My. Gosh! Hotaru remember the maroon letter I got in the mail every month that I never got to open, well not until now that is." I said excitedly.

"_**No I don't remember but I do need those files Mikan."**_ She said impatiently.

"Yeah, yeah I'll bring them over but listen to this first okay?" I said barely able to hold back the news I wanted to tell her.

"_**Fine, shoot."**_ She said uninterested.

"Well, it says that they want to hire me!" I said excitedly.

"_**They who?"**_ Hotaru said suddenly paying attention.

"Well it's a theatre in the States and they want to hire me as a regular actress!" I said holding none of my emotions back.

"_**That's great news Mikan."**_ Hotaru said happily_**. "Now bring me my files."**_

"Fine. I'll be there in 15 minutes." I said then hung up.

Everything's finally working out. I'll go to the States first to work and Hotaru and Ruka will follow after they marry like we planned. I thought as I brought Hotaru's stuff to the school library.

When I got out of the school someone my mobile rang. I checked the ID number but it wasn't someone I knew. It had a different country code too. It was foolish to pick up but I did. "Hello?"

_**Yes, Hello, Is this Ms. Sakura?**_

"May I ask who this is?"

_**This is Clearstone Publishing from America and we would like to ask if you would allow us to publish your work.**_

"My WORK? What work is it may I ask ."

_**Why, Your poems , they are quite deep and very emotional. Of course you will also have your share in the profit and you will have the decision on how you want to package it.**_

"Excuse me?"

_**Clearstone Publishing wants to work with you Ms. Sakura and we will be paying for your stay in the States if you will agree. **_

"I'll get back to you."

_**We hope to hear from you soon .**_

Beep.

I ran back into the library. I need Hotaru to make sure all this is ALL true. I hope it is.

Preview

The next thing I know I was on a plane on the way to California...

Done! R&R.

.com/manga/gakuen_


	14. Too soon

**Disclaimed**

**=pRiCe RaNge=**

**MIKAN**

"We'll miss you Mikan-chan."Anna said along with a fierce hug. "I feel the same way about you guys..." I said, tears flowing freely down my flushed cheeks. Everyone was there at the airport to send me off. I looked at each one of them as if to keep their faces in my memory. I walked over to the couple who was ALWAYS there for me. I warped my arms around both of them, "I don't know if I'll be able to live without you guys." I said to Ruka and Hotaru. "We'll be with you soon enough. Well visit during the summer." Ruka reassured me then let me go. I held onto Hotaru. She kissed my cheek and stared into my eyes. "You'll be making big money there. Be sure to send my profits to me." she said in a businessman tone. I laughed and blinked back the tears.

I stood in front of all my friends, "I love you guys." I gave them my final wave and stepped onto the ramp. I turned around and gave them my best smile. 'A promise of coming back and meeting again.'

It took 6 months to work everything out. I had to prepare all the IDs, passports, paperwork. Also as well as putting the apartment up for sale, sending the stuff I need Door to Door, contacting my parents, spending the rest of the time bonding with my friends but Hotaru was really the one who handled most of the hard stuff. I mostly just asked if she needed me for anything. I wish law didn't take so long to study so I could be with Hotaru-chan again.

The plane ride to California was going to be a long and tiresome one so Hotaru pulled some strings with the people who wanted to hire me and got me a first class seat. I put on a headset and switched on the LCD.

GAMES MUSIC MOVIES SERIES

I pressed movies and a list of movies from A-Z appeared. One title caught my eye. 'SURROUNDED' I knew for a fact that it was one of Natsume's many movies but this one was never aired in Japan. Since the play 'Differences' that we did I became a fan of Natsume. His acting would but you on the edge of your seat. I was his fan even before we um... split up. The only difference now is that I admire him from a far. I was happy when I saw him on a magazine cover 'Sexiest Asian' it said in the article of him. He was rumoured to be going out with producers, hotel heirs, recording artists and actresses.

I was a fan. I only see him I don't know him. I don't have anything to do with who he takes at red carpet events. In short, life made sense when we broke up. He's happy now and so am I.

When the cab pulled I removed my sunglasses just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I stepped out. "Here's your stuff lady. You owe my $60." I was computing the amount in yen and my mouth dropped open. I opened my travelling purse and gave him a sixty. "Thanks and uh... nice house." I barely realized that I was alone now. It was only me and my dream house.

The house had a fountain of two angels in front, a landscaping composed mostly of the most fragrant flowers and plants. I stepped onto the large double doors of MY house. I opened the doors and braced myself for what it was going to look like. What I saw filled my heart with happiness. The interior design integrated a Japanese home and a modern feel. I jumped onto the white couch and took in all the great things that were happening to me. After a few minutes I regained my composure and arranged all my clothes in my... WALK IN CLOSET!

On the fridge door there was three numbers on a piece of paper.

Mr. Drahm(Henderson Theater)

Sierra Johnson(Clearstone publishing)

Katakaru Sushi Delivery No.

I dialled my phone for Mr. Drahm. It rang three times before someone picked up.

Hello good afternoon this is the Henderson Theater. How may I help you?

"Good afternoon, I'm Mikan Sakura. I'm looking for Mr. Drahm may I speak with him?"

Miss Sakura, Mr. Drahm told me to send a car to bring you here as soon as you called. It will be the black one with a plate number of...

Shortly after speaking with Mr. Drahm's secretary, I phoned Sierra Johnson. She told me we'll be meeting at a Starbucks at the airport at 2 o'clock tomorrow. I had time, so I washed up and changed into a purple sundress, a pair of gold heels and a matching purse. The doorbell rang just as soon as I was putting on my lip-gloss.

The car stopped at a wide building. I stepped inside the lobby and I could feel the inspiration that comes from the place. Deep maroon carpeting covered the floors, authentic yellow wallpaper plaster on the walls giving the place a old age feel, the multiple chandeliers and photographs and artwork that graced the walls made it a place of the arts. I walked over to the information desk. "I'm Mikan Sakura, I have an appointment with Mr. Drahm." I said to the lady at the desk. She nodded, "His office is at the fifth floor the last door on the right." She said ad pointed me towards the elevator. "Thank you." I said.

Mr. Drahm's office was everything I expected and more. The wall behind his desk held a painting of a mountain landscape, a hard wooden desk and a large armchair filled by a large man. "Ms. Sakura I have been looking forward to formally meeting you." smiled and stood up to shake my hand. I took his big hand and shook it. 'Shaking hands' when meeting isn't exactly how we do things in Japan so I have to grow accustomed to this change. I mentally noted.

We sat down and discussed the future plans and roles I would have in the theatre. "May I ask how you knew about me?" I said curiously. Mr. Drahm laughed. "We have a lot of connections in this elite theatre and one of those connections recommended you." He explained. "Oh." I wonder which one of his many connections told him about me. "Besides you're monthly pay your agent worked out a monthly allowance of $5,000 for your expenses. Ms. Sakura the reason why we wanted you to work here so badly is because you came HILGHLY recommended." He said to me as if to say that the reason that they agree hired me with all these conditions is because I'm expected to work my butt off. He handed me a folder. "This is your first play here at Henderson." I nodded and took my leave.

When I got home I was too lazy to cook proper food so I just ordered from the sushi delivery. While I was eating my 'Japanese dinner' I went online for a while. I was just browsing I was surprised to see my face on one of the gossip sites. It was me leaving the Henderson theatre. The article talks about the rich, wannabe actress who was hired by Henderson because of connections. They were bashing me and they don't even know me. I'm not a spoiled rich girl. Maybe they were right to call me a wannabe but I love acting. I guess I'll have to get used to the remarks of the papz.

The next day I met with Sierra and we discussed how my book of poems would be packaged. It was the notebook that caused all that drama in collage because I thought Natsume stole it. I laughed at the thought. When I was still in Japan Hotaru told me that she was the one who gave Clearstone my notebook after she read it. When I asked how she gained access of the thing she said Natsume was the one who gave it to her. Anyway we were discussing on how we should package it. We agreed on a gold hard bound cover with an engraved Cherry Blossom in the front. She would only be using Sakura as her writer's name. It would be published next month since this was the last step in the entire thing. They said that I would be receiving the original one as soon as they finish editing some of the poems.

Rehearsals at a real theatre were different than the ones at collage, having to speak English and not Japanese was a bit challenge. The scripts are more emotional than the ones I'm used to. The people weren't as welcoming and most of the people just work to be paid. I closed my ears to all the gossip I keep hearing about me in the bathrooms. The women especially loved to make fun of me and the flaws they see in me. Sometimes I that I could just escape this world I got myself into.

There are a lot of things that are different but acting and portraying another person gives me as much excitement as it did before. My schedule immediately became full of plays even before my first play was shown to the pubic. They say it was because of the passion I showed even during practices.

When I received a box of my book I was so happy I couldn't speak for the entire day. Everyone at the theatre was asking why I was acting s weirdly about and I just gave them a stupid smile. Next week would be the play's opening night. I was getting a load of nerves just thinking about it. My notebook was being constantly filled with emotional crap yet again. The promotional posters for the play were scattered all around and my face was occupying about half of it. I hope I don't blow this.

The day after opening night received a lot of good reviews on the net and in the paper.

"The acting was superb Henderson yet again shows the world how to DO art."

"It was a thrill to watch such a captivating play"

"Henderson finds a diamond in the rough with this Mikan Sakura"

"Henderson's Mikan Sakura truly gives life to the character."

"Ms. Sakura has proven that she is worth Henderson."

And so on. I was so happy that day I thought I was floating to rehearsal. After rehearsal I was walking to buy coffee I came across a bookstore and the best seller's list included my book! I was all to happy that I thought I would die.

I walked or rather skipped to the coffee shop. I opened the glass doors and fell in line. The man in front of me bumped into me and spilled his frap all over my shirt. I felt sticky all over. The guy just threw the empty cup into the trash can and made his way out the door. "Hey! Mister! Come back here!" I screamed after him. Good thing we were the only one's in the store. The guy turned to face me. Crimson eyes. HIS eyes. "Natsume-kun?" I said and I felt my knees turn to jelly. I gripped a nearby chair to hold me up. Before I could say anything else a crowd of girls came into the shop and saw Natsume. Natsume left the cafe before anyone else recognized him. I noticed something though. He was carrying a copy of my book.

I never saw Natsume-kun again after that time. It's been a year and I haven't have anytime to go out anymore because of my tight schedule. Henderson has allowed me to do not only theatre but also movies. Even before now I've been receiving a lot of movie offers. In my first movie I was gong to be doing a romance. Titled Broken Hands. Today was the first day of filming so I was in Canada right now. Its only today that I'm meeting my leading man because he was too busy to attend the practices. I just finished having my hair and make up done in my trailer when I heard someone come in as the make up artist went out. "You look beautiful Mikan-chan." The person said. That phrase would have been okay but it was spoken in Japanese. I didn't want to raise my head and look at the mirror because I know that my eyes would betray my feelings. "What are you doing here Natsume-kun?" I said in a shaky voice. He's my leading man isn't he. Oh God. "I'm your producer Mikan-chan." He said in a nonchalant tone. Producer? He produces now too? "Oh," I risked looking him in the eyes. I read pain in them. Why? "Is there anything I can help you with Mr. Hyuuga?" I said professionally. "You haven't changed a bit Mikan. I came to tell you that we'll start shooting in fifteen minutes" He said in an accusing voice then left.

Tears threatened to fall and I quickly grabbed a tissue. I am not risking ruining my make up. I grabbed the notebook and a pen from my bag and sat on make up chair before I left. I wrote a little just to get rib of my nerves then ran out to set.

_I saw pain that reflected my own_

_Memories of the past I had known_

_Your voice with hidden anger at me_

_What saw riled me_

_You haven't changed and neither has my love_

During taping Natsume made EVERYTHING harder for me. I think he was doing it on purpose. He would get made at every little mistake I would do. He made me look stupid in front of the cast. What he was doing was degrading and it was angering me. I wanted to quit knowing that he was doing this just to prove something to me. No, I can't quit not when I have to prove that I can do what he expects that I can't. I made it a goal to prove Natsume wrong in everyway. If he wanted to make this set a living hell for me I won't let that stop me from being professional and hard working.

That night I wrote something for the NEW Natsume.

SHOT

Is it fun to hurt someone

To degrade them and shoot them with a gun?

People have limits if we push too hard

So be careful on how you play your cards

If you're caught doing foul play

From your mouth words of stupidity you'll say

There will always be a price to pay

You're work against you to your dismay

There's no reason to kick someone who's already down

Placing her in a sea of shame to drown

A person like you is inhuman

Your soul consumed by your demon

I slammed the notebook shut and made an oath to make sure that I won't let Natsume hurt me in anyway. I didn't plan on doing this when we meet again but I guess we won't be friends. I thought that we really had something going on. He just proved me wrong. The weird thing is that even though he's doing all these things my feelings for him doesn't change. I can feel his anger towards me but we are in a workplace and what he is doing is just unacceptable for me.

I woke up at 3 am to shoot a scene and I was feeling like crap. I tried to focus but my mind was playing tricks on me. I keep seeing double and I fell asleep while they were applying make up on me. I drank two cups of coffee and it fired me up enough to get through the shoot smoothly.

When I was on the way back to my trailer I ran into Natsume. He was carrying two cups of hot coca he handed me a cup and asked me to accompany him for a while. We sat at a bench but even before I could drink the steaming hot coca I blacked out.

"Mikan!" I heard and someone catching me...


	15. Confused

**Disclaimed**

**=pRiCe RaNge=**

**MIKAN**

When I woke up I was in unfamiliar surroundings. I stood up and slid the curtain to one side. The view was spectacular! "Like what you see Sakura-san?" I felt shivers coming up my spine. I knew that voice anywhere. I grabbed a picture frame near me and flung it at him. He managed to dodge the object and the frame fell with the glass broken into pieces. "Why am I here?" I asked my voice seething with anger. Natsume smirked. "That's not a nice way to treat your boss. Imagine what would happen when the people around you hear about you sleeping in my hotel room." He really was the son of the devil. I tapped my foot. My eyes on the expensive looking rug. "Is this what you do now? Make people miserable?" I mocked. I raised my eyes to meet his. Was that remorse I saw in his eyes? I highly doubt it. "What was I supposed to do when you fainted? Leave you there? Wouldn't that make us both miserable?" He shouted clenching his jaw in evident anger. I remembered, I started this fight but I won't lose either. "Both of us? I would have thought that you'd be ecstatic by the fact that I was suffering! " I said with the same amount of anger. I saw his eyes soften. "Get out before I say something I'll regret Mikan." I stared at him. "Get out!" He screamed anger shaking his body. I put on my shoes and headed for the door.

When I was out of his room I recalled seeing something. I saw the broken picture frame I flung at him. "It was a picture of me." I breathed out in a hoarse whisper. I walked out the hotel with mixed feelings. Outside a car was waiting for me. "Mr. Hyuuga gave orders to bring you back to the set madam." The butler said in a heavy British accent that still seemed bogus. "Never mind I'll catch a cab." I mumbled and slid past him. The butler just shook his head. Luckily a cab was there upfront.

"Jasper National Park please." The cab driver nodded and drove. After about twenty-five minutes we arrived. I pockets for a my wallet. "Oh no! I totally forgot!" I fainted duh? Why would I have my wallet with me. "I'm sorry but will you wait here while I get my wallet?" The cab driver shook his head and handed me a pen. "Please sign this Ms. Sakura my daughter who's in college taking theatre arts thinks the world of you an autograph would be enough." He said a stutter in a word or two. "Who should I make this out to?" "Jenna" I offered a smile and signed the page.

Jenna, Keep on the right track. Express yourself

Love, Mikan Sakura

I handed back him the piece of paper and headed for the location. I managed to sneak in the dressing room without being seen. Someone's bound to notice that I'm wearing clothes from last night. I scurried to my costume rack with my name on it and pulled a sweater and denim jeans. Somehow I changed into it. My hair was a mess! I realized when I stood up in front of the mirror. I heard someone calling me from outside. "Sakura!" "I'm in here!" I said popping my head out of the dressing room. The intern had relief on his face. "Thank God! We've been looking for you all morning." "I'm sorry I was out for a while..." Well I did lose consciousness so I wasn't lying. He nodded. "You should head to hair and makeup. Direct said we'll be starting in an hour."

I finished with hair and makeup in exactly an hour. Good thing I was already in costume.

The entire morning I could feel people taking questioning glances at me. My instincts told me that they were gossiping about me. '_You're getting too worked up Mikan_.' I reminded myself. During taping the director made a sly comment when I wasn't able to deliver a line. "Do you need someone to carry you through this?" He said in a demeaning tone. I just smiled back and delivered a perfect take on the second time. All day people who crossed paths with me told me sly remarks. "Ms. Sakura I bet you're freezing." Or "What made you take this movie anyway?" Those people just had nothing better to do.

"I miss Japan." I sighed and walked to my trailer. This day was full of misery. An intern 'accidentally' spilled iced coffee on me. I mean why would she be drinking that on such a cold day? Why did they have to pick Canada? The wardrobe department gave me 3 inch pumps that were ready to break at any minute. And they did break, during the lake take. It took three hours to dry me off which the others weren't so happy about because I delayed the shooting time. Whoopee. When I got to my trailer I took my iPod, notebook, favourite pen, a thicker jacket and headed out to the 'blind spot' I found.

I called it the 'blind spot' because it was out of everyone's sight. I sat on the foot of an ancient pine tree. I switched on my iPod. I drummed my fingers on the notebook and hummed to the tune. I thought back to the time when I was still Japan flipping burgers, all the chaos, the drama, the sakura tree. I smiled at the memories. I flipped the notebook open to a blank page and started writing.

_Rising Sun_

_The old times that provoked something within_

_Friends who were with me through thick and thin_

_I knew that the day of separation would come_

_But not my goodbye to the rising sun._

_Oh, how I miss them to this day._

_The miles in-between that says_

'_They're still there in some way.'_

_That gets by day to day_

I sighed and replaced the cap on the pen. I miss them so much. I don't talk to Hotaru much except why she calls to check on how much I sent home. Ruka was too busy to talk most of the time because of his studies and the others were busy looking for jobs or trying to keeping them. I spent a few more minutes there, but went back to my trailer when it got too cold.

The entire week was a living hell. Everyone seemed infuriated with me. I kept pretending not to notice how things were changing for the worst. I finally asked Kimi what was going on because I was done with keeping with everybody's crap. "There's a rumour going around that the only reason you're here is because Mr. Hyuuga has a thing for you and that you don't have an ounce of talent." She said while curling my locks. "What made them think that?" I half shouted. "Well, I heard that someone saw you being carried by one night." She whispered almost inaudibly. I crossed my arms; I'm going to have to talk to 'Mr. Hyuuga' today.

I don't think I've ever felt so nervous before. I thought as I walked up to 'Mr. Hyuuga' while he was alone in the lounge tent. I rechecked for the millionth time if anyone was around. When I saw no one, I walked in. He looked up. His crimson eyes still hit me the same way. Dang it. He looked back at the papers in his hands. "Um, I wanted to discuss something with you." I said shakily. He didn't even look up or speak. "Fine." I spun around my cheeks red in embarrassment and left the tent. I half ran to my trailer.

I sat staring into nothing. He won't even acknowledge me. I realized that no help would come from him. I'm going to have to prove to everyone that I earned this role.

The last month of shooting was almost without incident. I think I did my purpose of proving them wrong. During takes everyone would be crying with me. Today we would be heading back to wherever we all came from, as our director said. The others and I were heading to the studio for the editing ad stuff. I was all too happy to be getting back and get some rest for a month or two before the red carpet premiers.

When I got home I was dumped immediately with pending scripts to accept for my future movie or theatre roles. "I'll decide on that later." I mumbled, passing the loads of paper. I saw the massage light blinking on the telephone. I switched it on and put on a cup of lavender tea that Anna-chan sent me. _"Mikan-chan its Misaki-sempai, I just called to tell you the news."_ There was a short pause which gave me time to wonder. _"Tsubasa and I are getting married!..."_ I almost dropped the kettle I was holding. I laughed. I didn't hear the rest of the message so I replayed it again. "_"Mikan-chan its Misaki-sempai, I just called to tell you the news._ _Tsubasa and I are getting married! We were going to ask if you could come. We'll be sending a formal invitation to you too, but I wanted to be the one to tell you first even if it's not in person. I'll talk to you soon okay? Ja ne(Later). " _Beep. I felt bittersweet about the message. I was happy for them of course, but I so wish I was with them now to celebrate it. We all knew they would end up together; despite Tsubasa-sempai's playboy attitude. I heard the kettle whistle so I got back to reality and poured myself a cup. "To Misaki-sempai and Tsubasa-sempai." I said raising the steaming cup. Too bad no one was here to toast it with me.

Misaki-sempai and I did get to talk again but it was a couple of days after, via Skype. While we were talking Tsubasa-sempai who was there told me how difficult it was to think of how to propose to such a mule of a girlfriend; fiancée. I laughed but gulped down arising tears. I wish we were face to face. When I was about to tell them that I met with Natsume here the phone rang. I let the voice mail answer it but it was an intern from the movie calling about the schedule of the promotional shoot we would be doing. "I have to take this. We'll talk soon okay. Give everyone my love. Ja ne." I forced the words out of my mouth and logged out. "Hello?"

"_**Ms. Sakura I called to inform you about the photo shoot or do you want me to email the information to you?"**_

"Just email it to me. I'll call if there's anything else."

"_**Ms. Sakura?"**_

"Yes?"

"_**I...um...just want to say that I'm a big fan of your work."**_ I smiled.

"Thank you. I appreciate that, I really do. Just email me the details and I'll get to it."

"_**Okay."**_

'Click'

I was glad that I got that phone call. During my talk with Misaki-sempai I was being swayed into the option of leaving all this and going home. That phone call changed that. It made me realize why I'm here. It's because I love doing it and I'm good at it.

Today was the shoot and I was in hair and makeup getting ready. One of my co-actors who was also getting ready brought out a book. I smiled. It was my book of poems. Thing is that person reading it doesn't really like me. Talk about ironic. "How are you enjoying that book?" I asked casually. "Oh this? It helps me relax." She said and continued reading. Later I noticed that she wasn't the only one with a copy of that book. I saw three or four people reading it or in a bag somewhere. I suddenly felt so happy. I mean I knew that people were buying it but I felt like it was on the rack ages ago and they would have forgotten about it now. The funny thing is they don't know that I'm the author. I smiled secretly.

The photo shoot was a blast. Well except for the bed scene which was a bit awkward because the guy was acting very um... aggressively. I was fine with it; I mean we have bed scenes in the movie but Natsume wasn't there when we shot that part of the movie but he's here now. 'Overlooking things.' As he put it. The costume I was in wasn't any help to my situation. It was pretty skimpy. Well not really but they put me in a micro skirt. This industry had me forced me to wear skirts again. I forgot that I said I wouldn't wear skirts but Nat- I mean Mr. Hyuuga knows why I stopped wearing them before, and it's a personal memory. I kept pulling at it the entire time. The second set of frames they wanted the t-shirt off. Mr. Hyuuga was nowhere to be found at the moment so I just complied. I was wearing a push up bra and micro miniskirt in bed with a man. 'If this isn't art I don't know what is.' I thought sarcastically. The guy was on top of me when Mr. Hyuuga came into set. I tried remaining calm but my face gave me away. "Mikan you don't have to feel awkward about this. I think I wouldn't complain if the guy in the bed I was in was that sexy." Why did the shoot director have to be a female? I just smiled and breathed in to lessen the redness of my cheeks. The day went on...

I was at home and my personal shopper was showing me evening gowns. I have to choose five for the premieres that we were attending worldwide. A few minutes into it my mobile started ringing. No caller ID.

"Yes? Hello?"

"_Is this Mikan?"_

"Who is this?"

There was a couple of dead seconds...

"Hello?" I said again.

"_This is Natsume."_ I walked out to the garden. I didn't want the other people to hear this conversation no matter what it's about.

"Mr. Hyuuga, what made you call?" I asked with a trail of sarcasm in my voice.

He sighed, _"Look would you stop that Mikan?"_

"Stop what?" I said obnoxiously.

"_That!"_ I didn't shut my mouth closed.

"_Good. You know that there's going to be a premier of our movie in Japan don't you?" _

"Yeah, but that still a couple of months later. Do you have to talk to me about this now?" I said pretending to be uninterested in what he was going to say next.

"_Just listen."_ He sounded annoyed.

"Hmp."

"_I'm thinking that you know about Tsubasa and Misaki-sempai's wedding."_

"So?" Although I was surprised at the fact that he was still informed about it.

"_Well the Japan premier is the last one I think we could stay a while to attend the wedding."_

"I'll think about it."

'CLICK'

I stared at the phone in my hands. There was nothing to think about. I couldn't resist that offer but knowing that Natsume would be there made me think twice. I admit that my feelings for him before haven't blown out completely. Those feelings were dangerous. I don't want to fall into that trap again. We were just so different. Besides, he's so successful now. He doesn't need me in his life just to make it complicated again. To be with him on that trip back home would trigger so many things I forcefully shoved deep in my heart. Feelings that could easily resurface if I go. Natsume why did you have to return to my life? Fine, I'll go.

I went back to the house to finish my gown selection. I know I'll have to choose one more that I'll be wearing to the wedding. I'll message Natsume later or as late as I can.

_Preview_

_ HOLLYWOOD, PREMIER NIGHT, RED CARPET:_

_ "MIKAN OVER HERE!" I kept hearing from different directions as I walked down the carpet. I smiled my best and waved to the fans. Natsume and the others were doing the same and soon we were inside the theatre. I heard sniffles behind me during the movie. I had tears in my eyes too." That was me acting." I kept thinking the entire time. The movie ended all too quickly for me. I wiped the remaining tears as everyone applauded. _

_Someone pulled me while I was walking out of the theatre. I felt EVERY SINGLE emotion a person could have run through me in a split second. XAVIER! _

DONE! Sorry guys. I've been preoccupied. Read and review. LOVE YOU ALL!

-trace


	16. What do I do now?

**Disclaimed**

**=pRiCe RaNge=**

**MIKAN**

I was so nervous. Was this really me? I stood in front of the mirror. I was wearing a black floor length gown that hugged my body. My hair was in an elegant side bun with a few curls framing my face. I felt like I was showered in glitters by the way I looked. They dyed my hair a little darker which really brought my eyes out. "Ms. Sakura one of your sponsors sent you this as a congratulations." She showed me a silver necklace with a small diamond heart as a pendant. I nodded and she put it on me. "Wow." I said in a whisper. "You look absolutely beautiful Miss." "Thank you." I think I'm ready to walk down that red carpet after an entire day of preparation.

I rode to the premier in a sedan. I was one of those stars that didn't bother having a date to premiers. I was walking down that carpet alone tonight. When the car stopped and the door opened I was nearly blinded by the cameras. The screaming fans sent shivers up my spine. I gave them a wobbly smile and waved. All the people on the carpet looked stunning. "Mikan! We love you!" "Ah! Would you give me an autograph?" "Look at the camera!" I felt so overwhelmed. The smile on my face wouldn't go away. I walked over to the stand where the fans were. I signed a few notebooks and shook hands with some of the fans. Suddenly the screaming maximized a thousand fold and more cameras flashed as a car pulled in. "Natsume! Natsume! Be my husband!" "I love you!" "You're a god!" Natsume just walked on not really caring what people said. He looked at me at that moment. I looked back at the notebook I was signing. "Baka(Stupid)." I said in a breath. "Huh?" A fan said. "Nothing." I smiled then walked away.

I smiled my best and waved to the fans. Natsume and the others were doing the same and soon we were inside the theatre. I heard sniffles behind me during the movie. I had tears in my eyes too."That was me acting." I kept thinking the entire time. The movie ended all too quickly for me. I wiped the remaining tears as everyone applauded.

Natsume bumped into me when I was trying to find my way out. Our eyes locked when he grasped my wrist. To keep me from falling. "Meet me outside." He muttered then left. It took me awhile to get out because people were congratulating me or were tripping me. I felt like a rag when I got out. Someone pulled me to the side. "Natusme wha-"I felt EVERY SINGLE emotion a person could have run through me in a split second. I was looking into those blue eyes again. I wanted to cry to be mad. Instead I said, "Xavier." He pulled me in an embrace. I was too stunned to react. He pulled away but kept his hands on my shoulders. "I've wanted to see you." I felt light headed. "_Oh no."_ I thought. "How have you been Mikan?" His eyes we smiling right at me. I'm falling again someone stop me, please! "I'm f-f-fine. You?" "Better now that I've seen you again." "Xavier you said-" All the memories came flooding in all at once. "I know what I said Mikan. It's different now though." He took my hands in his. No words came to mind. "This isn't the place to talk. What's your number?" He whipped out his mobile and handed it to me. I guess I was out of my mind because I actually put my number in. "I'll call you." He walked away blending in with the masses. I wanted to laugh to cry but I couldn't do anything. "What now?" I gripped a post beside me. I felt like the world was tilting. I felt someone tap my back. "Xav-" I spun around looking at Natsume. "I'll take you home." I gripped his jacket and while he led me to his car.

"I saw him talking to you." "Just drop me off at the nearest Starbucks." I knew that he was deliberately driving slower than his usual speed. I mean a biker rode past us! "I'll just have coffee with you at 11 in the evening then." He countered. "I drink decaf." I muttered. "I don't care! We have to talk." I looked at him. "We have nothing to talk about." Nothing at all. "You might have nothing to say but I do." He said while looking intently at the road. "That's new." He wants to talk? He never even gave me a second glance when I was talking to him during the movie shoot. Now Xavier, he looked the same but more mature. His hair reached his nape which made it curl and his blue innocent eyes became blue depths you could drown in. I shook my head. I don't want to think about him right now.

We got a table inside the cafe. What was I thinking coming here? I was wearing a gown for Pete's sake! Natsume looked unaffected by the fact that he completely stood out. I took a sip of my frap. There was almost no one in the cafe but those who were there kept glancing at us. I heard a few clicks from cameras. This would cause a scandal. Natsume looked right at me. "Fine. We'll go to my house." He grabbed his coat and headed for the door. He knew that I was going to make a fool of myself. Why didn't he stop me? We rode to my house in silence besides me giving directions. I punched in the code and pushed the gate open. When we were standing at my porch my danger instincts went up. I don't want him inside the house. "What do you want to talk about?" I asked placing my hands at my waist. He walked towards me. "I missed you." He said in a hushed tone. Liar. "Don't." I said pushing him away from me. "Mikan, you were the one who let me go. Now I want you back." "What about what I want huh? Did you ever think of that mister-I-want-it-my-way! No you didn't!" I felt angry. I felt my walls going down. "I know what you need." I huffed at what I heard him say. "What I need? Who asked you to butt into my life and tell me what I need? I may not be the smartest person in the world Natsume, but I won't-. I won't get hurt again. " "You're stronger than what you give yourself credit for." "You don't know anything. Not one thing! Just leave me alone okay. Off screen drama is too much for me right now." I walked into my house and locked the door. I wish I could lock my heart that easily.

That jerk, I've got too much on my plate right now and he's just adding to it. I've got to get a grip. I heard Natsume's car leave my drive way. "Finally." _Ring... Ring..._

"Hello?...Speaking, who's this?...Xavier um-...Tomorrow? Lunch?...They've got good food. Yeah, b-bye."

What did I just do?

.

.

.

Ah! I don't know if I want to cry or shout or be angry or-or... I just don't know. I turned on the water in the bathtub. I need to relax. I got into the tub and closed my eyes. I knew that I was really out of it because I went in the tub still wearing the gown worth five month of groceries. I dipped my head under.

_Blue eyes...Brown curly hair...His Sakura... _I rushed up for air. _Inhale...crimson...passion...his everything..._

"This isn't helping." I muttered then took of the heavy, soaked gown. I put on my bathrobe and headed for the kitchen to get a snack. I grabbed the potato chips. "Stress plus food equals unwanted fat." I said, then stared at the bag of chips, then decided to put it back. I went to garden and sat on the swing. My notebook was on the trunk of the tree. I picked it up. "The last entry was three months ago." I checked if the pen attached still had ink. "This will do."

_Who_

_I'm not all that, I will never be_

_You seem to think too highly of me_

_Right now I'm just too confused_

_Too, confused to risk to lose_

_I'm not all that you've cut out me to be_

_I wish that you would also see_

_That I don't know who I meant to be_

_I wish you would see_

_I wish you would see that nothing would please me more_

_Than you entering my heart's door_

_But who are you may I ask?_

I stared up into the sky. Is it just me or are they dim tonight? I closed my eyes and breathed in the chilly air.

I woke up with the sun shining right in my face. My back ached like hell. I got up from the ground. I can't believe I slept in the garden. I flexed my arms and let out a yawn. I heard the kitchen phone ring.

"Hello?" … "-N-n-no. I didn't forget. I- I was just about to heading out. " I completely forgot about lunch with Xavier. I ran to my bedroom snatched a sundress and changed into it and ran out the door locking it behind me. "I forgot my mobile!" I was already late enough so I didn't bother to go back to get it. I bet that I'm a hideous mess right now. I put on my oversized sunglasses and went to the bus stop. Even as a 'star' or whatever I refuse to lose myself, besides I like riding the bus. I just hope that my sunglasses would at least hide me for a while. When I got on the bus there were a lot of empty seats. I sat next to a girl about my age. She seemed so caught up in texting. I smiled at how unconnected she was to everything around her. I wish I could do that, I thought. It was a couple of minutes before I got to my stop. When I got off the bus I was surprised to see that the girl I was sitting beside got off too. She ran up to me. "You forgot your handbag." She handed it to me and looked at me weirdly. "Thanks." I smiled at her. "I know! You're Mikan! The Mikan Sakura!" She looked immediately dumbfounded. I just smiled. No need for any confirmation from me. "I don't have a pen or paper but my phone has a camera. Will you take a picture with me?" "Sure." I took off my shades and smiled. "Well I need to get back to the university. Bye see you in theaters I guess." She headed out. When I turned around Xavier was there looking at me like I did the most awesome thing. "What?" "You haven't changed a bit have you?" I laughed. "Yeah, nothing much changed I'm in America, in theaters and cinemas and as I recently saw on the internet this morning a new fashion icon." He just smiled at me with those blue eyes. "You've achieved a lot, but you haven't changed. Come on lets get something to eat." We went into the restaurant.

"I thought you'd want a taste of home." I breathed in the scent of home made noodles and steaming hot dumplings. "Mmm. I can already taste it." We ordered and when the food arrived I could feel my mouth watering. I took a sip of the broth, delicious. "This is so good. I'm so tired of eating all that sushi. Why does America think that Japanese people only eat sushi?" He laughed. "What have you been up to recently Xavier?" "Nothing much just business, my parents are in Rome establishing a business there. So, right now I'm alone." "Wait when you left me, let me rephrase that. When you left Japan you said that you were going to marry." You said you'd marry and forget me. "Yes, but that never happened because I-, I couldn't." "Couldn't what?" "I couldn't marry anyone besides you." "Xavier please I can't do this right now." I said in Japanese. "But it's all true. I've waited and waited for this to happen, for us to meet again. Now that it has. I need you Mikan." He answered back in Japanese. "Shut up, just shut up. I'm not that good of a person Xavier. Or have you forgotten that you threw me away and left me in Japan without anything to say, without even a proper goodbye." He closed his eyes trying to hold back his own tears. "I couldn't at the time. I couldn't bear to see you then leave. I was a teenager. They told me it would all be better back in the States. But I never forgot you, not for one second in my life." "You could have done something you know. Anything! But you didn't." He grabbed my hand. "I did do something Mikan." "What? What did you do? Expand your parents business? How does that help?" "I was the one who recommended you to the theater you work in now. I'm you're sponsor." I shot up from my seat. "What?" I pulled my hand away. "During high school you were always a person who brought attention to yourself even when you didn't mean to. You were born to be in front of the camera. I was just helping you to excel in it." He smiled at me. "Helping me? You're practically giving everything to me! Xavier this is unfair!" His smile vanished. I felt betrayed all over again. High school, now this. "I thought you left me. I'm not your toy Xavier. I'm not a dog either I'm not up to playing your tricks." I sneered at him. "I doubt that you'd care if you would be paying since I would be using your money anyway." I stood up and left him sitting there. I been thinking that all this time I got into this business because I was good at is. Turns out I got here because of an ex-boyfriend's guilty conscience. I just want to go home.

'I shouldn't have gone home.' I thought when I saw Natsume's car parked in outside my gate. He came out of the car when he saw I was approaching. I thought about turning back and head to where ever. He walked towards me. "Natsume I'm not in the mood for this." I said in Japanese. I walked past him. "Mikan please." Please? I didn't know that Natsume actually knew that word. I opened the door and he let himself in. "Natsume get out." He looked at me like I was out of my mind. "Fine." I went to the kitchen while he followed me. "All I have is tea." "Hn." I put the kettle on. While the water boiled neither of us said a thing. I dropped in the leaves in the kettle. He wasn't saying a word. "I thought you had a lot to say?" I mocked while I bought down my new china from the high cupboard. "I still love you." He said. I only heard the ceramics crash to the floor. I kneeled and picked it up the broken pieces. I gasped. Blood was streaming from my fingers. I just stared at it. Natsume pulled my arm. "where's your bathroom?" I pointed to my bedroom door. He pulled me across the room and into the master bathroom. He ran water on my bleeding hand. "Baka. Are you okay?" He asked. "Why do you ask?" I stared at the running water. He let go of my hand and went towards the bathtub. "Because of this." He pointed to the bathtub overflowing with water and the gown I wore last night still in it. "I'm stressed." I moaned. He massaged my shoulders. I closed my eyes. I said, "I met with Xavier today." His hands stopped. "What about it?" "He told me that he was the one who's sponsoring me." "What's so bad about that?" I was annoyed. "Do you know how much he's 'sponsoring' me every month? 5,000 dollars every month." "Quit." "What?" I exclaimed. "Quit, leave and forget him. Those scripts coming in aren't his doing. People want you in their movies or TV shows and what not. You can even go full time writing."

I turned of the tap and went to my bedroom. Natsume sat in the loveseat and switched on the TV. His sadness flashed in his eyes. "I guess I deserve it. I meant what I said though." He stood up. "I really do love you. You aren't his Sakura anymore he doesn't have a right. Before you leave I hope you give me a chance to win your heart."

After Natsume left I felt a gapping hope in my chest. I went back to the kitchen and swept the broken china. I want to quit it wouldn't have been such a hard decision to make if- if Natsume didn't say what he said. "I want to be your Sakura." I went into my bedroom to get my notebook. It wasn't there. I looked all over the house but I couldn't find it. I wonder where it is?

**NATSUME**

I was lying in bed and I opened her notebook. I know it was wrong but this is the only way to really know what she's feeling.

**My eyes**

_Never could I imagine_

_All the things that have happened_

_Those things that I said_

_Streaming tears and a throbbing head_

_Unable to think clearly_

_Mortified and scary_

_Everything seems so lonely with out him._

She wrote that the day that I left. I thought as I read the date. There were tear marks on most pages. Where there were no tear marks there were coffee rings. But the most prominent thing in I noticed while reading the notebook was that

She was still definitely as in love with me as I am with her.

**The next one's the Epilouge guys! Finally! I love all of you who have been following my imagination with me especially me 'my khaye' xD.**


	17. The End

**Disclaimed**

**=pRiCe RaNge=**

**MIKAN**

"Cut my sponsorships then." "You can't do that Ms. Sakura." I wore my best poker face to this meeting and I'm not coming out without the outcome I want. "I want to leave." I said. "We aren't people who let go of money- errr... talent easily." The theatre's rep said. "You weren't even supposed to know who was sponsoring you." "Well I know now and I want to quit this thing." The rep was fidgeting in his seat. I sighed. "Look I know that I have a lot of other shows that I promised to do and the ones that I already said yes to I will finish." He seemed to evaluate what I said. "Ms. Sakura there's just too much to lose. Either you stay or you leave, but if you leave there will be a law suit against you for your breach of contract." That won't be cheap, both on my money and time. "You can't make me stay." I said my breath seething with anger. Why did Xavier have to be my dang sponsor? The rep walked out for a while for a phone call. I recalled the things Natsume said. '_I really do love you. You aren't his Sakura anymore he doesn't have a right. Before you leave I hope you give me a chance to win your heart_'. I slammed my fists on the table. I'm not letting out the tears. Not now. The guy came back in the room. "That was Mr. Stratford. He said he wants to be the one to talk to you about this." I grimaced. _See Xavier again. How I would have wanted that a few years ago._"Tell him to meet me at the McDonalds at the ground floor in an hour." I stood and left the man fumbling with the dials on his phone.

"All you have to do is face him again. One last time Mikan." I said to myself in the mirror as I reapplied my make-up. I took deep breaths. I'm not sure I let them out though. I went out of the comfort room and walked to McDonald's.

I sat down in one of the leather couch things in the back and ordered chicken nuggets. Comfort food. I was down to my last nugget when Xavier came through the door. "You're early." He said taking a seat. I swallowed and took a sip of coke. "Mikan can we go somewhere more private." I nodded and he steered me over to the door.

We were in the park. Sitting on a bench. I was trying to be professional. There was a grim silence. "Mikan, I shouldn't have told you that I'm you're sponsor." I looked him straight in the eyes. "Not telling wouldn't have changed the fact that you were 'sending your sponsorship.'" I didn't dare look at him. He disgusted me. He felt him slide closer to me on the bench. "Mikan I just want to fix this." I stared at him. "If you wanted to fix this. You would have never left me." "Mikan, you were never away from me. I was always thinking of you. Dreaming of you." He caressed my cheek. I slapped his hand away. "That's just it Xavier! You were just thinking of me. You didn't do anything. For years." "I've done so much good to you Mikan. Can't you see that?" He accused. This jerk! I didn't know how to react. He pulled my face towards him. Next thing I knew I was being kissed. I tried to push him away. I was scared now. He didn't let go. I tried to pull free. I pulled at his hair but he just buried his face onto mine. I was losing my strength. Then he let go. I wiped at my lip then pushed him away. I saw something moving near the bushes. I saw Natsume. He was walking. His hands were balled into fists. He saw Xavier and I- Oh no. Dear God no. "Mikan you don't have to deny that you still love me." I heard Xavier say. I looked at him with hell-like anger. I slapped him across the face. "I was hurt, I'll give you that Xavier. But you fell in love with the High School girl. You don't know me." He had his innocent face on. "but I really do love you." "Love me? Xavier I'm not the naive little girl anymore. I had records of you searched. I don't trust you." I threw the files at him. "You're married and you have kid Xavier."

He looked at me like I was crazy. "That's why you sponsored me. You thought you could play me again didn't you? " I screamed. "I was going to divorce her. Then we could be together."Xavier begged. "Divorce her? She's you're only source of income after your father's company went bankrupt last year. That's why you made sure I was a success before you met with me again." His eyes pleaded for mercy. "What were you going to do? Leave her with the child? I'm not you're rebound." "Don't tell my wife please." He begged. "I won't tell her of your schemes. I won't break a family just because you broke me, again." He looked relieve. I walked away. "Oh, I'm still leaving that theatre. No matter how much they sue me for." I said behind my back. I wiped at the angry tears.

_._._

I called Natsume's phone several times but I kept getting the answering machine. "Pick up Natsume. Pick up." I tried to texting him but he wouldn't reply. This is getting me nowhere. I dialled Hotaru's number. "Mikan? Any problem?" "Does there really have to be a problem for me to call you?" "But I have a hunch that there is a problem." There was a dead silence. "We'll you are sort of right." "I knew I would be right." "Can you get Natsume's home address for me?" "Hmm... What's in it for me?" 'Sigh' "I'll double the money that I'll be sending you this month." "Okay. His address is..."

Hotaru traced Natsume's location with his mobile number. Isn't what I was expecting. I thought he'd be staying in a mansion in a hidden place. Well he isn't Edward Cullen. I laughed at the thought. His location was at a pub. When I came into the pub loud music was blasting into my ears. I don't like this setting. I remembered what happened the last time I was in a place like this. The hair on the back of my neck started to crawl. That disgusting feeling was coming back. 'Find Natsume then get out.' I told myself. I looked all over for Natsume. I seriously doubted that he would be dancing. I wish I had ear plugs with me. I couldn't think straight with the yelling, the loud music and the tears threatening to spill down my face and... and then I saw him. He was drinking shots with a group of unfamiliar guys. A girl came to him, she sat on his lap and they started making out. My heart broke into a million pieces. Then the broken pieces broke into a million other pieces. Didn't he say that he still loved me just last night? I ran out of the pub. My heart was shattered just like that. I didn't have my notebook with me. No where to rant. No way am I going to cry. But what now?

I was still sitting outside the pub. I wasn't crying. Well inside I was. I felt dead inside not really sad. Why did he have to see Xavier kissing me. Xavier. That jerk! Coming back to my life just to bring in chaos that I was finally out of! "Get out!" I heard a man shout to someone. The bouncer threw someone out to the curb.

Natsume.

Well I couldn't leave him there. I drove him to his house. His house address which I got because of Hotaru.

When we arrived at his flat it was extremely late. "Natsume get up we're at your house." He was still out cold. I tried pulling him out of the car but he wouldn't budge. "This is getting tiresome." I huffed. I gave up got back in the car. I rolled down the windows. We're both sleeping in the car then."

When I got up at eight in the morning the passenger seat was empty. "Oh no you're not." I said out loud. I'm not letting Natsume walk away because of this crap. I marched up to his door. "Natsume open this door!" I knocked at it like my life depended on it. No answer. Typical of him. "Natsume please open the door. It's me Mikan. I just want to talk." Still no answer. I leaned on the door. Nothing is going the way I want it to." I just want to go back to the way things were before." I whispered. I stood up and took my leave. If he's done with it then so am I.

For the past few days I've been moping over everything that has happened. Xavier, Natsume, no more Xavier, no more Natsume. Well my life sucks right now. I finally do something smart and get Xavier investigated but Natsume just had to be there during that unfortunate death kiss. I blame myself. If I just immediately told Xavier what I knew when I saw him then Natsume probably wouldn't have seen any of that drama. I was sitting on my garden swing when the telephone rang. I let the answering machine get it. "Mikan, its Ruka. I heard about what happened from Hotaru. Just give him some time. He'll come around." I wanted to pick it up and cry out how hurt I was to Ruka but I already did that this morning when Hotaru called to check on the extra money I was supposed to send to her.

That entire month I heard nothing from Natsume. It was like he was in another country again. I mean maybe he is in another country shooting a movie or something. I stopped being so overly emotional right after Ruka-pyon's call. I needed to straighten out my life. My life isn't supposed to revolve around Natsume. I straightened out what I had left to do in that theatre before I officially leave. They purposely gave me all the hard roles but all were the protagonist. Since I started here I've never played an antagonist. Weird. I bought the house I was staying in with the money I earned from the book and the movie.

I filed through pieces of paper at home. Receipts, scripts, mail and unfinished poems. The highest pile were the unfinished poems. Some were long but had no sense and most of them were written after Natsume and I's misunderstanding. The poems were written on scraps of paper cause I couldn't find that dang notebook.

3 Months Later

I opened my eyes. Wow. I wish everything was just a dream. "Stop thinking." I said to myself. I hate it. Everytime I think, I think of Natsume. Recently my hobby has become sleep. Sweet, sweet sleep. It takes away the pain from me for a few hours. I dream. I dream of him. That everything's alright. Even if they're not. I looked at my surroundings. I guess I fell asleep in front of the TV again. I also love the TV. Especially those dramatic novellas. Their lives seem worse than mine. Its sort of a comforting thought. But I try to distract myself. I go back to what I do most days. I just sit there and stare into space. I wonder. Has he eaten? Is he taking care of himself? Does he get enough sleep? Does he think of me at all? I'm not good at moving on. I never have been. I guess I'm back to being emotional.

I guess a walk will help me. I intentionally left my mobile. I don't need Hotaru to tail me today. As soon as I got out of the house I felt blinded by the sunlight. Has it been that long since I left the house? There wasn't any reason to leave the house. I walked into the local park. I really need the air badly.

After walking for a few minutes I sat down on a bench. I tilted my head back. "I miss you." I murmmered. "I really do." A stray tear rolled down my face. I wiped at it. I closed my eyes. I remember his face. His crimson red eyes. "This moving on thing really isn't working." I whispered. "It would have been fine to lose everything if I still had you." I screamed. A sob escaped my chest. I was crying finally crying. "Natsume...Natsume...where are you?" I repeated like a lost child. After a few minutes I stopped crying. I was walking back to my house. I'm glad I got all that emotion out. I was still a block away but I could clearly see someone standing outside my door. No. This had to be a dream. I continued walking. He was looking straight at me. I was crying again. He ran to me and held me tight. I held on to him like he was my life line. "You're back." I said. "Hn. Back for good." I cried and he held me. "You wouldn't let me explain what happened. And..." He kissed me. "Shh...I know. I was wrong. I'm sorry. I love you. You know that right? " I looked at him through my glassy eyes. "Yes. I know that. You know I love you Natsume-kun don't you?" He held me. "Hn."

I still couldn't believe he was back. I couldn't stop crying. I think I'm irritating him already. But we're just here on the sofa. He's holding me but not looking at me though. "Why'd you come back?" I asked. "Nosey Girl." I pouted. He smiled. "I guess I've hurt you a lot." He said with all the guilt buried in his words. "Natsume-kun I don't care about the hurt part. I just can't think about me without you anymore. I'm just glad you're back." I smiled. "So, why did you come back?" I asked again. He looked at me with a laugh in his eyes. "Imai came." My eyes widened. "She's here?"

"I am." A cold, soft voice said. "Hotaru-chan!" I ran to hug her. To my surprise she actually let me hug her. "Hyuuga was is such an idiot. I had to personally knock some sense into him." She said nonchalantly. I laughed. I really missed having Hotaru-chan around. Turns out she came to my rescue.

"Oi Baka, Have you lost something recently?" Hotaru said while we were eating lunch. I nodded. "I lost a notebook again." She held up my notebook. "Where'd you find it!" I was at Hyuuga's house and I found this lying on his coffee table." "NATSUME-KUN!" I screamed. "Why do you always have to steal my notebooks! Steal something else for a change!"

"Hn."

3 MONTHS LATER (BACK IN JAPAN)

"Hello welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order sir?" I smiled at the costumer. His face showed indifference. A perfect facade but I could see love in his eyes. "I'll have my order for take out." "What will that order be sir?" I pretended to push the buttons on the LCD. "I'll have you for take out." "Okay then that will be worth a welcome back kiss and and I love you." He jumped across the counter. Pulled me in his arms and drew me in for a gentle kiss. "I love you." I breathed.

"CUT! That's a wrap people!"

"Mikan, the I love you in the end wasn't part of the script but I loved it." The director said and gave me a pat on the back before going to the camera men. Natsume walked in step with me. He was still upset that I dragged him into this romantic comedy. He hated the stuff. I guess I can never go back to being the counter girl but at least I could play her as a character.

"I love that I get to kiss you on the job." I said to Natsume as we walked back to my trailer. "Hn. Well I love our off-cam kisses better." I giggled as he pulled me and kissed my head.


End file.
